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Unaccustomed As I Am

f you were to ask a number of people what the most
frightening thing would be to them (other than my
wife, who would list cats uppermost), they would
probably list speaking in public near the top.
However, you would think that some-
one whose stock and trade was address-
ing the public on a regular basis would
be more aware of what was said and
how. The following questions are said to
have been actually posed by real lawyers
and caught by court reporters. I thank
my friend District Judge Stephen
Cooper of Southfield for sharing what
he found in the Web site, 'Lectric Law
Library
SY
www.lectlaw.com
MANELLO
Now, Doctor, isn't it true that when a
•
Editorial
person
dies in his sleep, in most cases he
Assistant
just passes quietly away and doesn't
know anything about it until the next
morning?
• What happened then?
He said, "I'll have to kill you because you can identify

me."

Did he kill you?
• Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?
• The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
• How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the colli-
sion?
• I show you Exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize that pic-
ture.
That's me.
Were you present when that picture was taken?
• Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
All of my autopsies are performed on dead people.
• Were you present in court this morning when you were
sworn in?
• You don't know what it was and you don't know what it
looked like, but can you describe it?
Well, I guess one could always fall back on that old
excuse, "My tongue got in front of my eye teeth and I
couldn't see what I was saying." It makes as much sense
as the above.

❑

GRAPEJEWZ

By Goldfein

W

by did European Jews in the early 1800s
call Napoleon Chelek Tov?

ampiestiltskin

uoalodcN 'autuu finj s114 uo AEIcI u sr —
.roj Ma qaH `(101 ?mac/3 •palanbuop at' sarn
ensuy
-uno3 u1 smaj ay paluclouflua uoaioduN

Yiddish Limericks

A klaineh vahntz* once known as Hoff
Said, "Pesticides give me a cough.
I You know, it's no glick'
My being a tick.
So why don't you fellas bug off"

e Male Band

Vizitor

ightline

N igher Ground

— Martha Jo Fleischmann

• LIMA

* small bedbug
** piece of luck

trigue

ute

ssengers

ngels

botables

"Lots of kids may not like each other, but they'll
learn to respect each other."
— Tim Wilson, director of Seeds of Peace, an 8-year-
old summer camp, deep in the Maine woods, where
Israel and Arab teenagers come together in hopes of
bridging their ethnic divide.

"A lot of people don't know this. Garth helped me
write my first album — Urban Hebrew."
— Jewish actor Brad Garrett, of TV's Everybody Loves
Raymond, joking about his relationship with country
singer Garth Brooks.

BY Mendel

MM-PMNIM„.

THAT'S NICE

DEAR...

WHAT? NO
HGART 1 6

MAZEI:r0V rei

(—(5'

P0

(

)

Call (248)398-9711

505 S. Lafayette • Royal Oak
unvw.lorioross.com

7/6

2001

