Ask Wendy

Naming Tradition Applies To Hebrew Name

Dear Wendy:
My husband comes from a long
line of assimilated Jews. His name is
James
III. His father was James II
and he would like our son to be
James IV Naming a child after a liv-
ing person goes against every Jewish
conventional wisdom. We are at an
impasse. Is it true that Sephardim
name their children after people who
are alive?
—What's in a name?
It is true that Sephardim will
sometimes name a child after a living
relative, but it is also true that the
Ashkenazi custom is definitely not
to.
However, I write bearing good
news: long before Jewish children
received names like James and
Charles, they were called Yaakov and
Binyamin. The custom of not nam-
ing after a living relative refers to a
person's Hebrew name. If a Roman
numeral is that important to your

husband, your
son's English
name can follow
his family's tradi-
tion. Then, you
and your hus-
band can come
up with a
Hebrew name
WENDY
for your child
BELZBERG
that will add
Special to
something new
the Jewish News
to the family tra-
dition. Clearly,
life was easier for th e Jews — or at
least naming babies was — before
they could lay claim to dynastic pre-
tension.

Dear Wendy:
Last year, an old friend came to
me with an idea for a business.
Actually, he was looking to me to be
the money guy for this venture. I
was intrigued with his plan..

A problem arose when he intro-
duced me to his partner. The part-
ner didn't think I was "the right fit"
for him. My friend thanked me for
my interest, but basically dropped
me from his plans.
I was furious. I had started to
make phone calls on his behalf and
felt very exposed. Now I don't even
talk to him. This pains me because
we've been friends for years.
I almost called him after Yom
Kippur, but chickened out. I see this
as a breach of friendship. He tried to
contact me after our daughter's bat
mitzvah, but I never returned his
call. Am I a heel?
—What's wrong?
A heel, no. Insecure, probably. It
was your friend's idea to begin with.
Did he make a commitment to you?
Did he ask you to make phone calls
on his behalf? Just because you have
the money doesn't mean you are enti-
tled to join the party. I don't know

how far down the road you went
with your friend or how he handled
the situation — if he was as tactful
and apologetic for any inconvenience
he may have caused you. One thing
do know: if the business was his idea
he is-not obligated to you just
because you expressed interest in
signing on.
Business is business. Friendship is
friendship; a church and state rule
should be in effect here. I think you
lost sight of what is important. Yom
Kippur is just three months away, bui
if I were you, I wouldn't wait that
long to make the call. O

Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954
Lexington Ave. #189, New York,
NY 10021, or e-mail
askvvendy@thejewishnews.corn

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