POINT
COUNTERPOINT
Reversing The Same-Sex Attraction
Homosexuals Merit Societal Support
Jerusalem
IV hen 21-year-old Avi
Korman (not his real
name) confided to his
parents that he was
experiencing
unwanted homo-
sexual urges, they
weren't sure where
to turn.
Eventually, the
young man and
his parents
approached Sam
Rosenberg, an
ADAM JESSEL Orthodox thera-
pist in family
Special
practice. He
Commentary
researched the
options and dis-
covered that a
number of therapy and support
groups seemed to offer promising
treatment. Most, though, were overtly
religious, and none were Jewish.
Later, the Kormans teamed up with
several other Jewish families facing
similar challenges to launch JONAH
— Jews Offering New Alternatives to
Homosexuality. The New Jersey-based
nonprofit organization is staffed
entirely by volunteers, with Rosenberg
assisting as a clinical consultant.
JONAH serves as a worldwide
information and referral center, and
operates therapy groups for people
who want to overcome homosexual
orientations.
Not surprisingly, those involved in
JONAH are people who respect the
traditional Jewish approach to homo-
sexuality. While valuing every human
being and the struggles people shoul-
der, Jewish law and tradition unequiv-
ocally prohibit homosexual behavior.
They include some expressions of
homosexuality among the basic moral
prohibitions incumbent upon all
humanity.
The Reform movement, by contrast,
permits its rabbis to formalize homo-
sexual unions and ordains open
homosexuals. While the Conservative
movement has not officially sanc-
tioned the practice, some of its rabbis
do officiate at same-sex ceremonies;
the former rector of one of the move-
ment's two rabbinic seminaries has
openly endorsed the blessing of "gay
J 7
6/22
2001
28
Adam Jessel is a therapist and research
consultant. He is a former staff member
in the Faculty of Medicine at Hadassah
Hospital and the author of studies in
medical and scientific journals. His e-
mail address is Jessel@softhome.net
unions." Indeed, when a representa-
tive of JONAH was invited by a
teacher and her class to speak at a
Conservative Hebrew high school, the
principal stepped in to cancel the
event.
With that approach, the non-
Orthodox movements are embracing
the contemporary societal consensus
that regards homosexual orientation as
irreversible and morally neutral. That
view, effectively promoted by gay
activists, leaves no room for an organi-
zation like JONAH, which caters to
people who do not consider homosex-
ual activity a viable alternative and
supports their efforts to change.
Controlling The Urge
JONAH's clients want to overcome
their same-sex attraction for any of a
number of reasons. Some simply
want to marry and have children.
Others are already married, and want
to eliminate the difficulties brought
to their marriages by unwanted
homosexual attractions. Those who
are religious are motivated by a clear
religious obligation to avoid homo-
sexual activity.
Overcoming homosexual urges is
never easy. Whether people manage to
control or eliminate their unwanted
same-sex attraction depends on many
factors, including to what extent they
regard change as possible. Indeed,
many Jews with unwanted homosexu-
al attractions are discouraged from
seeking help because they have heard
that homosexuality is something that
cannot be changed.
Rosenberg acknowledges that there
may be people who cannot change
their homosexual attractions.
"However," he adds, "I have never
met such a person."
His confidence in the ability to
change is not based solely on his own
clinical experience. In a report delivered
at the American Psychiatric Association
(APA) convention, Professor Robert
Spitzer of Columbia University in New
York City announced the results of a
study that concluded, "Contrary to
conventional wisdom, some highly
motivated individuals, using a variety of
change efforts, can make substantial
change in multiple indicators of sexual
orientation."
"We cannot make a man interested
in women," says Rosenberg, "but a
diminishing of the unwanted homo-
sexual attraction is generally accompa-
POINT on page 29
IV by is it that any human
being would consider
sexual attraction to
someone of the same
gender "unwant-
ed?"
Obviously, it
must be causing
some kind of dis-
tress. Where does
that distress origi-
nate? Could it be
from a society or
religious belief
that insists it is
ARLENE
wrong? Perhaps
SORKIN
knowing there is
Special
a possibility of
Commentary
rejection by fami-
ly, friends, co-
workers, clergy and the legal system
causes the distress. If homosexual
attraction were to be accepted as a
viable alternative to heterosexual
attraction by all of society, then sexual
attraction to someone of the same
gender would not necessarily be
unwanted.
According to Dr. Sylvia Hacker, as
explained in her book What Every
Teenager Wants to Know About Sex:
With Startling New Information Every
Parent Should Read, human sexuality
runs on a continuum, at one end
being absolute heterosexuality and at
the other end homosexuality. The area
in the middle is known as bisexuality.
In other words, there are some indi-
viduals who can be attracted to people
of the same gender at well as the
opposite gender.
This phenomenon explains the abil-
ity of some "highly motivated individ-
uals" cited in Columbia University
Professor Robert Spitzer's study [see
related Point] to "diminish the
unwanted homosexual attraction by
increasing awareness of attraction to
the opposite gender." How many of
the people who seek the help of
JONAH and other similar groups
might be bisexual? Those who are will
probably be successful in finding hap-
piness with someone of the opposite
gender.
Arlene Sorkin of West Bloomfield is
program director of the Southfield-based
Michigan Jewish AIDS Coalition's
ECHO (Educating the Community
about Homosexuality through Outreach)
program. Her office number is (248)
594-6522.
There Are Absolutes
However, what becomes of those who
fall in the area of absolute homosexu-
ality, assured that they have always
been attracted and always will be
attracted to people of the same gen-
der? If they try unsuccessfully to
change their orientation, it can be a
source of great distress. Admitting
homosexuality or "coming out" can be
just as difficult. A support system is
very important and if an individual
finds strength in his or her religious
affiliation, it can be a very comforting
place to seek that support.
Steven Greenberg, a senior fellow at
CLAL-The National Jewish Center for
Learning and Leadership in New York
City and an Orthodox rabbi who
came out about three years ago, stat-
ed: "Coming out is a redemptive
move, both of the person and of socie-
ty — and I think there is a religious
imperative to find the strength to
come out." (Jewish News, July 14,
2000, page 63).
That is why he has lent his support
to a film that was released at this year's
Sundance Film Festival titled
Trembling Before God. It is a docu-
mentary of moving interviews with
Orthodox Jews who are afraid to
reveal their true sexual orientation.
Rabbi Greenberg feels there can at
least be conversations about the Torah
and homosexuality leading to different
interpretations so that individuals
would not have to make a choice
between homosexuality and Judaism.
To believe that Jewish law and tradi-
tion unequivocally prohibit homosex-
ual behavior is to accept everything in
the Torah as a given and not open to
interpretation as has been tradition for
so many years. A Conservative rabbi,
Bradley Shavit Artson, in his article
"Enfranchising the Monogamous
Homosexual: A Legal Possibility, A
Moral Imperative" (A Journal of
Philosophy, Law, and Judaism, Vol. 3,
No. 1, 1993), states "an unwillingness
to interpret the Torah in the light of
contemporary social science and his-
torical knowledge constitutes an act of
unwitting hostility to the Torah as a
living tradition and the embodiment
of God's imperatives for the Jewish
people."
Underlying Message
I can attest that many Jews who come
to realize their homosexual orienta-
tion, struggle with whether it will be
COUNTERPOINT on page 29