• Ma r ket p lace Ask Wendy Don't Let Family Unrest Fester Dear Wendy: My family is on the Reform- Conservative border, as am I. Two years ago, I married a woman with common values, who also happens to be Christian. My sister became Modern Orthodox about 10 years ago, and so we understood she would not be able to make it to our Saturday evening wedding. We planned a nice engagement party in the city where my parents and my sister live. We went out of our way to make it possible for my sister to attend (spending three times what we would have to make it GLATT Kosher), but she did not show. My sister and my wife have not spoken since. My sister is now getting married. My wife is willing to go to the wedding, but I know she will be uncomfortable. Is it appropriate to decline the invitation? I wan-t--do to support my sister, but I can't ignore-the,Rain it may cause my wife. - —Trying To Mediate You don't need advice. You need a les- son in communication. As does your sis- ter. I can imagine several conversa- tions that clearly never took place and should have: Your sister might have mentioned that she couldn't support your choice to intermarry; that WENDY if you wanted her at BELZBERG your wedding, you Special to might have chosen a Sunday night the Jewish News rather than Saturday; and that she did not plan to attend the shower so you shouldn't get a kosher caterer on her account. In turn, you might have told your sis- ter you were hurt and angry when she did not show up at your party. Long before that, you could have addressed the fact that you knew the choice you were making was at odds with her belief sys- tem. (And make no mistake about it, people do choose whom they will marry. You chose to marry a Christian.) 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Close-out prices from $484,900. Orchard Lake with West Bloomfield schools. New model open daily 1-6 except Thursday. HURRY!!! 248-683-9950 I 350 sq. ft. ranch, large corner lot, I-car detached garage and carport, covered Florida room, all appliances. 4;. CO Classic architecture. brick driveways, walks and porches. Incredible standard features include: granite countertops, oak flooring, two fireplaces with marble surrounds, premium appliances. two-person Jacuzzi and more! • FROM THE 5550's : For sale 2 unit house, : 1600 sq. ft., 1st and 2nd : floor with a permit to rent both. Presented by • 506 N. Washington • • : 6 / 15 2001 116 * 5167,000 Call for information 248-884-3036 248-931-6824 Daventry • W 0.0 D S www.hermanfrankel.com - Write to 'Ask Wendy" at 954 Lexington Ave. #189, New York, NY 10021, or e-mail —Love versus marriage freeaaw- b West Bloomfield There will never be a right time break the bond; you will have to go cold turkey. If you shoot for tomorrow as you departure date, but manage to ger out within the next six months to a year, you can still feel good about having executed a heart-wrenching decision in a timely fashion. (You may have to adjust my sug gested time frame to accommodate your remaining childbearing years.) ❑ Dear Wendy I have been dating a man for the past four years. He has a child by a previous marriage and, by his own account, is a terrible father; he does- not want to have any more children and the subject is not open for discussion. Having watched him with his son, I would have to agree that he appears to have no paternal instincts. We are madly in love and very happy together. I want to be with him, but I also want to have children. • • • OOOOOOOO • ■ !. I could take five or six sentences to say this but I don't have enough column inch- es and it all boils down to one thing in any event: Get out. Your boyfriend's hon- esty and self-awareness are commendable. But bridging the divide between different faiths is easier than resolving the dilemma you face. No relationship is worth such a price; children are not negotiable. (Abraham is the only person I can think o who was willing to sacrifice his child, and that's because he was asked by God to do so.) should tr), to sort out the mess you have made of your relationship. At the very least, go to her wedding. It is only in your own mind that you must choose between your wife and your sister. Your sister's wedding day is not the time to make a point you should have made long ago. Hurtful and shortsighted as it is, your sister's rejection of your wife is not personal. If your wife cannot accept this, let her stay home. Otherwise the love and good will generated at a wedding may provide the perfect moment when your sister and your wife can repair their rift. Beautifully decorated model open daily noon to 6 p.m. (Closed Farmington Rd. between Maple Rd. and 14 Mile Rd. 248-8.:1-3500 15.1