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but he didn't even know who I was."
But then Karen got older, and
Neal got wiser. They began dating.
Karen describes Neal as "my first
boyfriend."
The two continued their relation-
ship when they went to college. "I like
to say we have a mixed marriage,"
Karen says. "Neal went to the
University of Michigan, and I went to
Michigan State." They broke up, got
back together, broke up again, got
back together. "But we were always in
each other's lives," Karen says.
And besides, Neal was convinced
that Karen was going to be his bride.
"He's very persistent," his wife says.

.

Family Profile

Though she can empathize with
those who are fearful because they
know so little, she tells them, "Just
walk through the doors. That's the
first step in educating yourself."
Then, "take it step by step. Do a little
more every day, become more obser-
vant every day. Don't say, 'I can't do
this.' Say, 'I'm not there yet.'"

Shabbat With The Alpiners:

Everyone's favorite day of the week
is Saturday, Shabbat. It's hardly over
before they start looking forward to
the next one.
"My children wake up Friday
morning and smell the chicken soup
cooking, and my littlest one [Kyra,
3], will say, 'It's Shabbat tonight!"'
The Early Years: After undergradu-
Karen does much of the cooking
ate school at U-M, Neal attended
herself,
and the children help out.
Wayne State Medical School.
Friday
night dinner always
Because the couple were completely
includes
chicken
and beef, kugel and
on their own-financially, they could
afford only to rent a house. Living in matzah ball soup. It might not
sound like the kind of meal that
a Jewish area was important, so they
makes dietguru Jenny Craig sing for
stayed in Southfield. Later, they
Loy,
but Karen explains: "My theory
bought a home in Birmingham and
is
that
there are no calories in
then Franklin, where many of their
Shabbat
food."
neighbors today are Jewish.
Shabbat
dinner at the Alpiner
While Neal went to medical
home
is
rarely
a small affair. Only a
school and later, as he served as a
handful of times each year is it limit-
resident, Karen stayed at home with
ed to the parents and their five chil-
the children. Though it meant mon-
dren.
etary challenges, she says she loved
Sometimes, Karen knows exactly
being with them. "What did I have
who
will show up at her door. Other
to do that was more important than
times,
guests can consist of friends,
being with my children?" she says.
family, neighbors and people from
the synagogue whose names the
Their Jewish Lives: When the
Alpiners don't even know, who sim-
Alpiners' first child, Brett, was old
ply had no place to go for the meal.
enough to attend nursery school,
The Alpiners want their children
they began seriously considering
to grow up in a home steeped in tra-
their Jewish future.
dition and religion. They spend
After visiting several synagogues,
every Saturday at Shaarey Zedek for
they decided on Shaarey Zedek. Neal morning services, then the rest of
enjoyed the synagogue's learning and
the day at home, playing games,
services, while Karen appreciates the
talking and eating. "We're giving our
fact that "it's very family oriented
children what you have to get only
there. You feel at home."
through your home and your par-
Karen acknowledges that her limit; ents,'' Karen says. -
ed knowledge of Judaism made it
"Because I didn't have it, I never
"extremely intimidating to walk into
knew how wonderful Shabbat could
a huge facility" like Shaarey Zedek.
be," she adds. "I so love our time
She didn't know which siddur
together."
(prayer book) to pick up when she
"People are so busy that they don't
entered the sanctuary. When Brett
realize what a gift Shabbat is. They
first came home with a Lag b'Omer
say, 'I wish I had one day when we
project, "I didn't even know what
didn't have to go to baseball practice
the holiday was."
or have a birthday party. I wish I
"But you have to start some-
had just one day when I didn't have
where," she says. "So rather than
to run around.'
feeling sorry for myself for what I
"Well, look right in front of you.
didn't have, I chose to look at what I
You have it. Shabbat is a wonderful
could have.
time not to do all that."

