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Ask Wendy
God Is More Than A `Concept'
Dear Wendy:
My husband and I just had our
first child. We are not observant
Jews, but we are spiritual people and
our identities as Jews are impJrtant
to us. In the absence of ritual and
practice, how do we teach our son
about the concept of God?
— Tying to explain God
Some of the most essential con-
structs in your child's life will be per-
fectly concrete, like cookie or televi-
sion or dump truck. But your child
will learn about many other critical
components, despite the fact there is
no concrete reference to which to
point. Like love. And trust. And
respect.
The presence of God falls into this
category. If you sit down to explain
"God" as a concept, you are sure to
fail. But you can point easily to flow-
ers, souffles, triplets and cashmere. If
your belief in God is a part of how
you and your husband view the
world, your child will easily
pulsive disorder], excessive
absorb your faith; his under-
hand washing in particular.
standing of God will be as
She has been off medication
integral as his understanding
for several months and there
of your love for him.
has been no recurrence. I
You child is an infant so I
care for this woman deeply,
will end my answer here.
and we are both marriage-
But, if your identity as a Jew
minded. I strongly wish for
is important to you and
this relationship to continue
WENDY
something you wish to pass
to grow, but wonder if she
BELZBERG
to your child as he grows, I
could handle the stress of a
Special to
must suggest that you join
relationship, marriage and
the Jewish News _children. How do you sug-
some kind of a community
— even if you do not
gest I proceed?
choose to join a synagogue. Write
— A stressful encounter
back when you are ready for part two
If there were such thing as guaran-
of this lecture.
tees in life, I could imagine opting for
stability. But what are the chances
Dear Wendy:
you will find another woman for
I have been dating a wonderful
whom you care deeply who does not
woman for the past month. She
bring other issues to the table?
recently confessed that her previous
As my bubbe used to say, "every-
engagement broke off when the
body has something." You could
stress of the wedding brought about
break off this relationship, but who's
symptoms of OCD [obsessive-com-
to say the next girlfriend won't devel-
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op OCD after your first child is
born? Or agoraphobia or multiple
sclerosis? Will you then consider trail
ing in your wife for a (seemingly)
healthier model?
The good news is that OCD is
treatable with medication, your girl-
friend's case appears to respond to
Medication, and the two of you are
able to discuss these matters after
only one month's acquaintance. This
is as close as you get to a guarantee it
life; I'd jump on it.
Your girlfriend was brave enough
to tell you the truth; she deserves to
be with someone who will love and
reward her for her honesty. And you
don't know what the ex-fiance was
like, do you? Maybe you'd be washin
your hands, too. LI
Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954 Lexington
Ave. #I89, New York, NY 10021, or e-mail
askwendy@thejewishnews.com
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