Ask Wendy
Don't Be Afraid to Question A Teacher
matter.) Your daughter is old
Dear Wendy:
enough to maintain, even
My 10-year-old daughter
defend, her own beliefs in the
attends Hebrew school at our
face of opposing ones. She may
synagogue. She recently reported
not (yet) be able to shoot back
that her religion teacher said
that there is as much "proof"
that the Passover miracles never
for the "volcano theory" as
happened and that she saw a TV
there is for the biblical explana-
show "proving" that the splitting
tion of events, but your daugh-
of the Red Sea was the result of
ter must learn to follow her
a volcanic eruption. The teacher
WE NDY
own compass — religious or
intends to show the video to the
BELZ BERG
moral — no matter how much
class. Meanwhile, my daughter
Spec
ial
to
external pressure is applied.
is distraught and feels that she
As for the teacher, speak to
the Jewi sh News
won't enjoy the seder this year
her
directly just in case your
thinking that the story of
daughter
somehow
misunderstood the
Passover is a fraud.
message. If there was no misunderstanding
— Not sure what to do
then, before the teacher can play the video
This teacher has unwittingly offered
and ruin Pesach for the rest of the class,
you an opportunity to impress upon your
speak to the director of the Hebrew School
daughter how dramatically different peo-
and demand the teacher's resignation. The
ple's beliefs can be. She is entitled to her
director is also culpable and should be
point of view. (Even though she should
called to task for not having properly vet-
never have been allowed within a mile of
ted her staff. To all you Hebrew School
your daughter's Hebrew school class —
directors cut there: class is in session. Do
or any other Hebrew school class for that
Dear Wendy:
I was at the supermarket yesterday and
saw a mother slap her child hard across
the face. I was horrified but I did noth-
ing. What should/could I have done?
— Should I intervene?
In a black-and-white world, the answer
to your question is simple: Keep moving
because it's none of your business. How
would you feel if a perfect stranger stopped
you in the supermarket and offered unso-
licited advice about how you disciplined
your child? Or, about the hazards of the
junk food in your shopping cart? There are
a lot of parents who still believe that spank-
ing is the best way to teach a child a lesson
they will not soon forget.
However, I will say that certain actions
call for a reaction. You might not stop
someone loading junk foods into her
shopping cart, but it is your moral oblig-
ation to stop someone who is stealing
them. A potchke may be about teaching
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your child a lesson; a solid slap is about a
parent who is out of control. We've all
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to model for our children that we can use
our words instead of our hands, fists or
teeth. Specialists long ago determined
that spanking should not be used as a
form of discipline. And finally, if you had
any reason to suspect this child may be a
victim of child abuse, it is your moral
obligation to report the mother.
Short of following the mother around to
determine if her behavior was an exception
or the rule, I would have looked the mother
in the eyes, reminded her she should pick
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vou know what your teachers are teaching?
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