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March 16, 2001 - Image 83

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2001-03-16

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

"Well, Yitzhak," Saddam replied,
"this is important news! Tell me, how
bio. b is your army?"
'At this moment in time," said
Yitzhak after a moment's calculation,
"there is me, my cousin Saul, my next-
door neighbor Shlomo and the entire
pinochle team from the deli — that
makes eight."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you,
Yitzhak, that I have one million men
in my army waiting to move on my
command."
"Oy vey!" said Yitzhak, "I'll have to
ring you back."
Sure enough, the next day Yitzhak
rang back ... "Right, Mr. Hussein, the
war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that
be, Yitzhak?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combine har-
vesters, a bulldozer and Goldberg's
tractor from the kibbutz."
"Once more Saddam sighed. "I
must tell you, Yitzhak, that I have
16,000 tanks, 14,000 armored person-
nel carriers and my army has increased
to one-and-a-half million since we last
spoke."
"Really?" said Yitzhak, "I'll have to
ring you back!"
Sure enough, Yitzhak rang again the
next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war
is still on! We have managed to get
ourselves airborne! We've modified
Moshe's ultralight with a couple of
rifles in the cockpit and the bridge
team has joined us as well!"
Saddam– was silent for a minute,
then sighed. "I must tell you, Yitzhak,
that I have 10,000 bombers, 20,000
MiG-19 attack planes, my military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided
surface-to-air missile sites and since we
last spoke, my army has increased to
two million."
"Oy gevalt!" said Yitzhak. "I'll have
to ring you back."
Sure enough, Yitzhak called again
the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, I
am sorry to tell you that we have had
to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said
Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
heart?"
"Well," said Yitzhak, "We've all had
a char, and there's no way we can feed
two million prisoners."
KORN KORNER ... from Lila
Kushman, in Delray Beach, Fla. ... At
the National Dog Show, a woman
asked, "Do you know the way to the
Labradors?" ... "Yes, ma'am," answered
the attendant ... "The gents' is in the
basement; the ladies' down the hall on
your right.''

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