1911111 SPOOF

For Jewish Identity: A Modest Proposal

New York City
he evidence of Jewish atro-
phy and demographic
decline is inescapable. Fifty
percent intermarriage. Out-
reach is ineffective. Jewish literacy is at
an all-time low.
Now is the time to reject piecemeal
approaches to our dismal dilemma, to
end the ballagan of paperwork and
conference calls, to strike an effective
blow for Jewish continuity.
It is time to abolish the prohibition
against polygamy.
Our future has boiled down to a
race for more babies. Yet, how many
hundreds of thousands of young Jew-
ish women are currently unattached,
their childbearing years cruelly passing
them by without the possibility of
marrying a Jewish male? Abolish
monogamy; and each and every one of
these women would have a
mate and could realize her
potential to bring new Jewish
babies into this world.
If the fruits of polygamy
can be harvested by Osama
Bin Laden, the proud father of 15
children (give or take a few), it can
work for us. Why should only blood-
thirsty terrorists be fruitful and multi-
ply?

of thousands of
Jewish women
currently lead
childless lives due
to the unavail-
ability of Jewish
husbands and
their unwilling-
ness to suffer the
indignities of sin-
MICHAEL
gle parenthood.
STEINHARDT
Imagine, if
Jewish Renaissance you will, a Jewish
Media
world in which
young women are
not victimized by
the commitment-phobic immaturity
of the opposite gender. Freed from the
outdated constraints of monogamy,
women would begin having children
at precisely the moment they chose. If
men her own age are too immature to
settle down, a woman could
easily find a slightly -older
man who would be more
than willing to add her to
his family of conception-age
mates. This is not a call for
freewheeling sexual revolution but for
a highly planned parenthood.
Since this is a decision with far-
reaching consequences, it will
undoubtedly require the establishment
of a sanhedrin or worldwide beit din
of sufficient authority to set this new
norm. This sanhedrin would place rea-
sonable limits on the number of wives
each man could marry. The sanhedrin
would specify strict requirements so
that the ideal of polygamy would not
degenerate into an exploitative male
quest for endless personal gratification.
Jewish life wasn't always con-
strained by taboos against polygamy.
Jacob might have loved Rachel, but

PIM Thil
SP OOF

A New Sanhedrin

Current laws suffocate our greatest
resource — fertile women. Hundreds

Michael Steinhardt is a New York-

based philosopher and tummler. He has
been advised that what is good for the
Jewish people is not necessarily good for
his home. By the way, he is also chair-
man of Jewish Renaissance Media, par-
ent company of the Jewish News.

overturning Rabeinu Gershom's rul-
ing, guaranteeing that children born
in polygamous households will not be
considered illegitimate.
As for conflicts with civil law, we
must convince secular authorities to
accept Jewish polygamy under the
guise of religious tolerance.
Indeed, it is time to stop fussing
around with such halfway solutions as
"Speed Dating" or desperate advice
from "Rules Girls." In one fell swoop,
repealing the ban on polygamy will
cure contemporary Jewry of its endless
obsession with survival.
If each of the hundreds of thou-
sands of single Jewish women today
were to make full use of this decree,
the worldwide Jewish growth rate
would triple overnight. Even if half
of our renewed Jewish population
were to intermarry, as is the case
today outside of Israel, we'd still be
ahead!
Participation in the new Jewish
family structure would be entirely vol-
untary. In addition, the sanhedrin
would have as its utmost obligation
the concern for the dignity of women
who opt to enter a polygamous mar-
riage.
But in the end, we must be realis-
tic: We are in dire trouble, particu-
larly those of us outside the Ortho-
dox world. Drastic situations require
drastic remedies. We have tried all
the alternatives, and no -plan has
proven itself as effective as a repeal
of Rabeinu Gershom's ban. If any of
my readers can come up with a solu-
Stemming Our Decay
tion that is superior to my own, I
There should be no question as to
urge him or her to speak their mind
what we must do to stem our demo-
at once. In the meantime, my solu-
graphic decay. We must immediately
tion is practical, economical, simple
gather today's most brilliant rabbinical
and Swift. III
scholars and pass a unanimous decree

look how many kids he had with
Leah, Bilhah and Zilpah! It was only
in the 11th century that Rabeinu Ger-
shom set the unnatural ban in place.
His decree has often been attacked as
unjustifiable, impractical and unneces-
sarily restrictive.
One of the most vocal opponents
was the renowned 18th century
Rabbi Yaakov Emden, who argued in
favor of concubines and, by implica-
tion, polygamy, reasoning that a
repeal of the ban was beneficial
"toward the fulfillment of the great
positive mitzvah of bringing children
into the world, [a mitzvah] that
many times eludes even those who
are married, on account of their ties
to one woman alone. And thus no
other people is more fitted for mar-
riages with many women than the
holy nation . . . that [the Israelite
man] might increase the Jewish pop-
ulation."
Rabbi Emden argued that the ban
on polygamy was set in place not on
any moral grounds, but strictly as a
means for Jews to assimilate into
monogamous Christian culture and
avoid being attacked as different. Sure-
ly, the Jewish community is beyond
such dangers today. What's more,
according to Rabbi Emden, Rabeinu
Gershom's edict had been set to expire
in the Hebrew year 5000, or 1240
CE. Today, more than 760 years later,
the anachronistic decree against
polygamy remains unjustly in place.

SPECIAL COMMENTARY

MSU HILLEL from page 27

*IN

3/2
2001

28

to find new additions to the collection
as well.
It was nice to see the once empty
walls in the Mark Finkelstein Kibitz
Room (named for the beloved for-
mer director) now filled with
enlarged photos of students touring
in Israel, at barbecues and perform-
ing acts of chesed (social action). I
was informed that Shabbat dinners
are now attended by close to 100
students each week; many of these
meals are sponsored by Detroit-area

synagogues, thereby defraying the
cost for students.

Help At The Helm

Much of the improvement at MSU
Hillel, I learned, is in response to
the new executive director, Cindy
Hughey. During my weekend visit, I
noticed Cindy's gift for balancing
her skillful administrative approach
with her "Jewish mother" warmth.
Her face lit up when she shared with
me her vision for a new state-of-the-
art building, an additional Jewish
Campus Service Corps (JCSC) fel-

low for next year and more pro-
gramming for the Jewish freshmen
students on campus.
Cindy explained that all this was
possible because of the dedicated
coalition of the Jewish communities in
Michigan. Not only has Hillel
received support from Detroit and
Lansing, but also from the Jewish
communities of Flint, Grand Rapids
and Kalamazoo. The university
administration, led by President Peter
McPherson, has also played a vital role
in MSU Hillel's recent accomplish-
ments.

In the time since my Shabbat
visit, I have felt much pride in the
continuing efforts of MSU Hillel. I,
along with a cadre of other Jewish
student leaders on campus, spent
time planting carob trees for the
future. Now, seeing the fruits of ou r
labor enjoyed by current students is
both rewarding and validating. I
know that I join with the rest of the
Detroit Jewish community in wish-
ing that, for the sake of the Jewish
students on campus, MSU Hillel
will continue to go from strength to
strength. ❑