Insight

Remember
When

Apart, But Together

Single _parent Jewish families benefit from group's e orts.

DIANA LIEBERMAN
StqfieWriter

ast year's Mothers' Day week- •
end at Butzel Conference
enter in Ortonville was one
f the most exciting events in
the life of 4-year-old Arianna Monast.
"My daughter was the youngest one
there," said her mother, Sandy Monast
of West Bloomfield. "It was her first
camp experience, and she felt so much
love and attention. She was beaming the
whole time."
Even now, at age 5, Arianna still
remembers sitting around the campfire
making s'mores treats, with marshmal-
low and chocolate dripping down her
chin.
The Mothers' Day weekend camp
was the first activity Sandy and
Arianna Monast attended through the
Institute for Single Jewish Parents
(ISJP). It won't be their last.
The ISJP was co-founded by Dr.
Lynda Giles (now co-president of the
Jewish Federation of Metropolitan
Detroit's Alliance for Jewish Education)
and Harlene Appelman, Alliance direc-
tor. This year, ISJP will receive funding
of $28,000, which will cover one part-
time employee and supplies.
All other funding comes from con-
tributions.
Originally called the Institute for
Single Jewish Mothers, the group held
its first meeting in 1993. More than 300
women attended. The name changed
last year to recognize the growing
involvement of fathers in their children's
lives. This year, the 19-member board of
directors includes three men.

Jingle Parent Focus

Giles, who earned a Ph.D. in clinical
psychology, studied the needs of single
Jewish mothers and their children for
her dissertation.
"I assessed such things as how they
dealt with the economics of divorce,
with being single parents, the dating
world and establishing careers, some for
the first time," she said.
"What was so pervasive was that they

Above: Dr. Lynda Giles,
artist Robert Rabinovitz
andJanis Wets-man at
the ISJP Chanukah
party at the Somerset
Collection in Troy. After
viewing the menorah
exhibit, children and
parents created their own
dreidels and menorahs.

Right:: Linda Orbach-
Shear, ISJP director

really wanted to connect with the Jewish
community. But the Jewish world,
although it has changed a good deal, is a
very married one.
"So single Jewish mothers became a
minority within a minority."
The ISJP is a program of Jewish
Experiences for Families (JEFF), which
is, in turn, a department of the Agency
for Jewish Education.
In July, motivational speaker Linda
Orbach-Shear of Birmingham became
ISJP director. A former advertising exec-
utive, instructor for dyslexic students
and Weight Watchers leader, she is the
first JEFF employee to work solely with
the single parents' group.
"The strides we've made so far have
been remarkable," said board chair Janis
Wetsman.
Orbach-Shear, recently remarried after
five years as a single parent, said that
when someone loses a spouse through
divorce or death, "one of the first things
to break off is a connection to the Jewish
community."
Single parents find themselves more
pressed for time than ever before. Those

Jewish ceremonies they shared
with their former spouse may
seem overwhelming.
"They say, 'How can I learn
to do a seder when my husband
always did it,' or 'How can I do
Shabbat when my ex-wife
always did it,'" Orbach-Shear
said.
"Our focus is to be a gateway
back to the Jewish community."
The ISJP has no dues or
monthly meetings. 'All you have
to do is call and say 'I'm a single
parent,'" Orbach-Shear said.
"Tell me what services we can
provide. Ask 'Where can I go;
what can I do? How can I han-
dle my situation?' That's what
we're here for."

Linking Parents, Children

Thegroup will link up members
with social service organizations,
both Jewish and secular; help
with employment and finances;
and get them complimentary
High Holiday tickets or intro-
duce them to area rabbis.
But their most important goal
remains forging a Jewish link
betweenparents and children,
and connecting these families
with the community.
This summer, Orbach-Shear hopes to
see both mother-child and father-child
camps at Butzel Conference Center. If
funding permits, a weeklong family
camp may be held at the Grand Resort
at Mullet Lake. Quarterly Shabbat din-
ners — including children — are also on
the drawing board.
On Thursday, Feb. 1, the group will
host a "Grown-Ups' Night Out" at
Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal
Oak.
The ISJP is not a dating service. "We
don't do anything to enhance or not
enhance that aspect of the experience,"
Wetsman said.
"We do have one family where both
the mother and the father are on the
mailing list," Orbach-Shear said. "They
both came to our Chanukah party. They
did it for the sake of the child." ❑

For more information about the
Institute for Single Jewish Parents
or the Feb. 1 "Grown-Ups' Night
Out" call (248) 205-2542.

From the pages of the Jewish News for
this week 10, 20, 30, 40 and 50
years ago.

Iraq's Scud missiles landed in Tel
Aviv, the first time that city has
been bombed since 1948.
Temple Shir Shalom presented a
site plan to the West Bloomfield
Township Planning Commission.

*A,
or

41*.h

,

Rabbi Allan M. Blustein of
Southfield was appointed chaplain
of Sinai Hospital of Detroit.
Rabbi Robert Abramson of
Southfield, headmaster of Hillel Day
School of Metropolitan Detroit, will
chair the national conference of
headmasters of Solomon Schechter
Day Schools in New York.

James N. Laker was honored by
B'nai B'rith's Louis Marshall Lodge
and Chapter as Marshall Man of
the Year.
Bruce H. Keidan was named
president of the Council of West
Bloomfield Civic Associations.

oxry

A group of Miami communal leaders
raised $100,000 to construct and
maintain a Tel Aviv building to house
the archives of Sholem Aleichem.
Vice Admiral Hyman G.
Rickover was awarded the Navy's
Distinguished Service medal.
Pharmacist David M. Ross of
Detroit was appointed Michigan
director of drugs and drug stores by
the Michigan Board of Pharmacy.

SittailliA1111111111k

Daniel Elazar of Detroit won sixth
place in the national Detroit Times-
Hearst History Awards competition.
The Rabbinical Association of
Boston voted to boycott attendance
at, or recitation of, the ritual at any
bris at which the performing sur-
geon is not Jewish.
Mrs. Fiorello LaGuardia, Jewish
wife of the former New York City
mayor, was chairman of the Cancer
Crusade clubs and organizations.
— Compiled by Sy Manello,
editorial assistant

1/26
2001

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