The Waiting Game Misunderstood Mitzvah Time, as well as illness, beleaguers those needing transplants. DAVID SACHS Joy, Then Depression Copy Editor "They started to prep me," Sheldon said. "Then they discovered the new kidney had a blood clot and they couldn't use it." "I had thought this was the miracle we were look- ing for," said Diane, 63. "It was like God smiled on us and then took it away. "Shel was very upset and depressed for a few days. It took me about four months to snap out of it. Then we had to deal with the fact that someone died," she added. "Even though we didn't know her, her family was willing to donate her organs. I had terrible pain for them, not even knowing them." Before qualifying for a transplant, Sheldon, a retired food broker, had to go through a series of physicals and tests. "The physical in January showed blood in my stool, which proved to be a colon tumor. They cut out about a quarter of my colon. They told me that it would have turned malignant by summer. "The physical was a godsend — I would have never caught the tumor. I was much luckier than I ever thought. They saved my life on that." But now, the wait goes on. "We don't go anywhere," said Diane. "He wears a pager set for Michigan and Ohio. The timeframe to get to the hospital is too short to go far. "We can't take the chance in getting a flight back in time. It's just not worth it. "We've met so many lovely people in such dire straits," she added. "And we've seen how healthy they are after they get their transplants. It's totally amazing. "If our message jolts the community into thinking of other people and getting past the thought of giv- ing up an organ, it's well, well worth it," Diane said. What has Sheldon learned this past year? "Get physicals and definitely donate," he said. "It is imperative to donate organs." ❑ T he wait. It can be an emotional roller-coaster ride of medical calamities and false hopes. And it also can be frustratingly uneventful — like listening for a telephone call that doesn't come. Time not only passes for Sheldon Benis of West Bloomfield as he waits for a kidney transplant — it might someday run out. "It's very scary," said Sheldon's wife, Diane. "We live in terrible fear of him having to go on dialysis. We've been hoping that he could get a transplant before it happens. "I offered Shel a kidney, but I was the wrong blood type," she said. "Living like this is for the birds. I love him and I want him healthy." Sheldon's kidneys have been steadily deteriorating over the past 10 years from diabetes. At age 67, and on the verge of kidney failure, he is without a family member or friend who can be a donor. So he waits. Henry Ford Hospital doctors told him in March that the wait in Detroit for a cadaver kidney could be four to five years. In September, he got on the waiting list at the Medical College of Ohio in Toledo, where, in the Toledo-Dayton dis- trict, the wait could be only a year. But, in the rare occurrence that a perfect blood and tissue match is found, Sheldon would get that kidney, no matter where he was on the waiting list. Sheldon appeared to have hit the transplant jack- pot last June. After only three months on the Henry Ford list, the Benises were called and told that a per- fectly matched kidney from a 25-year-old woman who died in an automobile accident in Connecticut was available and that they should rush to Ford Hospital for surgery. Diane and Sheldon Benis wait for a potentially lifesaving kidney donation for him. Many Jews shun pledging organs due to lack of information. DAVID SACHS Copy Editor D avid Techner, funeral director at Ira Kaufman Chapel in Southfield, wasn't surprised by the responses he got when he asked a temple adult education class for their views on organ donation upon death. "Everybody thought that it wasn't permissible because it was a desecration of the body," he said "Most of the time, people are quite surprised to learn that its actually a v.,onderful mitzvah." "I think the perception starts with the community's feeling about autopsies, that there is a desecration. Somehow the two get linked together." Organ harvesting, Techner said, "is a surgical procedure. It's done respectfully, its done as quickly as possible, with empha- David Techner sis on the'need for everything to be done in a proper way" As myths persist about the propriety of Jewish organ donation at death, the fact remains -- most Jews are reluctant to sign up as donors. An Orthodox issue regarding the prevailing ha/achic (Jewish law) view versus the modem med- ical definition of death keeps many from donating (see accompanying article on page 14), but most Conservative and Reform _Jews, whose MOVements present no restrictions: decline as wen. Rabbi Elliot N. Dori, a Conservative propo- nent of organ donation, says that in the United States, 60 percent of people consent when asked to be organ donors, but only about 5 percent of Orthodox Jews do so, and the record of Conservative and Reform Jews is not much bet-- ter." His book Matters of Lift and Death: A Jewish Approach to Modern Medical Ethics notes the same reluctance in Israel. Dale Mintz, national director of women's health for Hadassah, says, "We know that Jews ta bialikely to give because of what the hospi- "In Israel, -dkco mm un ities . - donated organs. In the tai4and people waiting for .at's a lot of people. If every person who pa-ssreaga.Th able to give gave, there would be no waiting &as. MITZVAH on page 12 12/29 2000 1l