Ask Wendy

Two-Religion Homes
Can Leave Children Confused

one parent is always resentful.
It sounds like it may already
be too late for this advice, but
I would recommend against a
marriage in which neither
parry is willing to compro-
mise. At the very least, solve
the problem before a child is
conceived.
Contrary to what Hallmark
may say, love does not con-
quer all.

Dear Wendy:
I would appreciate an
answer to this question. In a
marriage of two people from
different faiths, one being
Jewish and the other gentile,
which one's faith should be
followed?

— Keeping The Faith

older and more mature (flattery goes a
long way) than her cousins and that she
needs to consider more carefully the
topics of conversation she covers with
your sons.
Finally, I did not become an advice
columnist by holding my opinions to
myself. Your sibling may not have asked
your opinion, but that should not stop
you from offering one. You are looking
out for your sons, but who is looking
out for your niece? ❑

When we told her the boys couldn't
have visitors on weeknights because
they have homework, she started
showing up earlier in the day when
the boys first got home from school.
We don't want to banish her because
she is family and we love her, but nei-
ther do we want her values and ideas
influencing our children.

If I knew the answer to
WENDY
your question, I would be
BELZBERG
brokering peace in the Middle
Special to
East, not writing this column.
the Jewish News
Dear Wendy:
If religion is of great
My 19-year-old niece is not
importance to both people,
in school and does not work. She
the answer to which faith should be fol-
spends a lot of time at our home
lowed is both or neither. I don't believe
hanging out with my sons, ages 14
it is confusing for children to be raised
and 11, and telling them stories about
in a household that practices two reli-
her life that I consider inappropriate
gions. And I know it is unhealthy for
for boys their age.
children to be raised in a home where

— In A Quandary

Your sons are old enough to be told
and to understand the facts of life:
namely that you expect them to finish
high school, graduate college and work
for a living. There is nothing disloyal to
your niece about telling your sons that
their cousin's behavior does not pass
muster in your home.
Meanwhile, since your niece is
behaving like she's 14, you will have to
remind her that she is at least five years

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