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Ask Wendy
Tolerance A Jewish Virtue,
But It Can Break Down
than anyone, should know
Dear Wendy:
that. In the reverse situation,
A good friend of mine who
a practicing Jew would say a
is also a co-worker invited me
blessing before eating a piece
to Shabbat dinner. When his
of fruit or drinking a glass of
family found out that I'm a
water in your home. Perhaps
Roman Catholic considering
you are the first Roman
the priesthood, their warmth
Catholic priest-wannabe your
towards me cooled. My
co-worker has had to his
friend's grandmother gave me
WENDY
home and you read disdain
a dirty look when I blessed
BELZBERG
where his family wrote only
myself with the cross at the
shock. (I admit that the con-
Special to
start of the dinner.
cept of the trinity is a hard
Did I do something
the Jewish News
one for most Jews to swal-
wrong? I'm the first to admit
low.)
that I'm fairly clueless about
You've done nothing wrong. But if
Jewish practice but it was not my
there is any awkwardness at work, why
intent to offend anyone.
not call your friend and clear the air?
— Clueless At Shabbat Dinner
Jews can be as intolerant as any other
Religion is not something that gets
religious beings. You may want to
checked at the door and a Jew, more
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remind your friend that the practice of
your religion is no threat or insult to his.
Dear Wendy:
My ex-wife was not Jewish, but we
agreed to raise our daughter as a Jew
and had our child converted at birth.
Now that we are divorced, my ex has
informed me that she is planning on
baptizing my daughter and "recon-
verting" her to Catholicism. Can she
do this?
— Is There Reconversion?
If your daughter was converted
according to Jewish law and dipped
in the mikvah (ritual pool) at birth,
she is Jewish and nothing your ex-
wife does can undo that. Even if your
daughter grows up to be a nun, she
will be a Jewish nun. And not the
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first I might add.
You are off base, however, if your
only question after hearing of your
wife's intentions is whether your
daughter is still Jewish. Your daughter
sounds like she is a prisoner of war.
And religion isn't the first thing that
comes to my mind in a hostage situa-
tion. Your daughter needs uncondi-
tional love, support and reassurance
through what is clearly a bitter divorce.
Spend more time thinking about your
daughter's needs and emotions, and
less about your own. 0
Nqiite to "Ask Wendy" at 954
Lexington Ave. #189, New York, NY
10021, or e-mail
askwenciy@thejewishnews.com
rRhonna Feldman-Nelson, MSW, ACSW,
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