Ask Wendy
Be More Sensitive
To Child's Spirituality
live as an Orthodox Jew is a
long-term commitment or
not, he deserves your respect
for the choice he has made.
As your child, he needs your
support and reassurance; as
an adult, he merits your
trust and respect. You may
not agree with his choices or
WENDY
his path, but your dismissive
tone only serves to under-
BELZBERG
mine further his ability to
Special to
stick
with anything.
the
Jewish
News
— Not Convinced
As a way of life, Orthodox
You have communicated
Judaism has demonstrated
to me, in just three sen-
real staying power. If this is another
tences, that you think your son is a
phase, however, count your blessings;
flake. I can only imagine how your
have you ever heard of the Hare
son feels about himself after living
Krishna?
with you for 22 years.
Whether your son's commitment to
Dear Wendy.
Our 22-year-old son has
gone through a series of
lifestyles." Recently, when
he was traveling in Israel, he
visited one of the yeshivot by
the Western Wall and has
been studying there ever
since. How do I explain to
him that his lifestyle as a
practicing Jew is just one
more phase?
-
Dear Wendy:
My ex-husband and I have joint cus-
todv of our two children. He is remar-
ried to a woman with two children of
her own. My two children do not get
along with her, two children. My ex-hus-
band wants our children to go into fam-
ily therapy with his new wife and chil-
dren so they can "all get along and our
children can fit into his new family."
— Mom On Sidelines
Did you and your ex-husband ever
see a therapist to help you get along?
How did that turn out? Sending your
children into family therapy with
someone else's family will succeed in
making them feel like there is some-
thing wrong with them when, in fact,
it is your ex, his new wife and you
who have failed. You and your ex-hus-
band never learned to get along and
you had a legal contract binding you
together. Why should the children? It
would be nice if the four stepsiblings
were friends, but there is no law that
says they have to be.
The divorces were about what was
best for the grown-ups. Placing your
children in family therapy so they can
get along with their "new family" is just
more of the same. Give all four children
time and space to adjust and heal.
Haven't they already paid a high
enough price?" ❑
Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954
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10021, or e-mail
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