Ask Wendy

Censorship's Not Always Bad

have done unto you." And keep an open
mind.

If you said "yes" to any of
the above questions, or even
faltered for a moment before
answering, a little censorship in
your case may not be such a
bad thing. Generally speaking.
The tie between best friends
often comes undone when one
marries someone the other
doesn't like. If this fiancé's only
WENDY
crime, however, is that he is
not Jewish, you must ask your-
BELZBERG
self if that is a good enough
Special to
reason to sacrifice the friend-
the Jewish News
ship. That you are drawn to
others with whom you share a
— Always On Guard
common background is natural.
Do you routinely refer to gentiles as
But there is a difference between selec-
goyim? Do you refer to your friend's
tion and discrimination. No one knows
fiancé as a sheygetz? Have you told your
that better than a Jew. With your back-
friend to beware that, one day in the heat
ground, you are surely familiar with the
of a nasty argument, her husband is likely
phrase: "Do unto others as you would
to call her a dirty Jew?

Dear Wendy:

I grew up in a very Jewish
household, my views and opin-
ions tend to reflect that
upbringing, and most of my
friends are Jewish. My best
friend just got engaged to a
non-Jew. I feel uncomfortable
around her and her fiance. I
constantly feel as though I have
to be on my guard and censor
my thoughts before I speak
them. I'm afraid that I might
say something that he will find
offensive.

Dear Wendy:

I've accepted the fact that my son
doesn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer,
but an actor? How hard can I come down
on him about choosing a different career
path?

— Not A Doctor?

What would have happened if Issur
Danielovitch or Bernard Schwartz's
mothers had pressured their children to
pursue different career paths? Where
would we be without Kirk Douglas or
Tony Curtis? You do not want to be the
one responsible (if only in his mind) for
robbing your son of his dreams.
On the other hand, I've met 50-year-old
struggling actors without a credit to their
name. Can your son claim to have made

any progress: has he gotten an agent, extra
work, a walk-on part, a guest shot? I assume
that if he were a series regular this would
not even be an issue for you.
Talk to your son about considering a
deadline by which he will either have
broken through, or will be willing to
move on. If you are in the business of
subsidizing your son, you are entitled to
set a deadline for when your financial aid
expires. You cannot tell your son to
change careers, but you can decide not to
support the one he has chosen.
Good luck. I hope for all of your sakes
that you happen to have a successful family
business where nepotism is the norm. ❑

Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954
Lexington Ave. #189, New York, NY

1€0021, or e-mail
askwertdy@thejewishnews.com

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