1111,1111111 1 111111111111 Jewish Book Fair `BEING JEWISH' from page 86 Buy one dinner entrée at regular price, get the second for 1/2 OFF Equal or lesser value. Monday through Thursday 4 p.m. - 9 p.m: only. Not valid with any other offer. Must present ad when ordering dinner. Southfield location only. The book was highly praised, yet he was criticized by some who suggested that he should be studying Judaism, not other religions. "This new book," the 51-year-old author writes, "is my effort to examine not the faith of others but my own faith, to look deep into its practices and histo- ry and try to invigorate it with new meaning and purpose. I undertake this examination not as the yeshiva boy I once was but with the insight of a Gulliver who has seen the lives of others and can now reflect better on his own." His own perspective is Orthodoxy "I'm a proudly modern Orthodox Jew That doesn't mean I'm a perfect Jew. Many tried to write me out of the camp after my last book," he says. "My ideolo- gy, my affiliations, my kishkas are in Orthodoxy" He likes to describe himself as "1950s Orthodox," recalling the Young Israel he grew up in as having social dancing in its auditorium, and everyone was fine `TODAY I AM A BOY' from page 86 "Theater was a wonderful part of my life, and I was good to it," says Hays, who remembers drinking lots of Vernor's ginger ale as he worked at the Fisher Theatre. "Now I'm writing. "As I spent a good deal of my life designing in New York City, [I learned] that sometimes you have to sit down in front of a blank piece of paper and let the pencil point carry you along. It teaches you things and shows you about eating tuna sandwiches out. He's very much a "pluralist Orthodox," open and respectful of other people's practice. "Just as I was able to see the beauty of other religions, like Buddhism, in the first book, I can also see the beauty of other streams of con- temporary Judaism," he says. Being Jewish is divided into three sec- tions: "The Jewish Life," "The Jewish Year" and "The Jewish Day" Among the topics he covers are coming of age, wed- dings, all of the holidays and Shabbat, prayer, study, traditions inside of the home like honoring parents, hospitality and sex, and practices outside of the home like charity and visiting the sick. The chapters provide a historical overview, emphasizing the meanings as well as the rules; each chapter concludes with a glossary-like explanation of "The Basics." Sidebars throughout the text vary in theme, from kabbalistic teachings to an explanation of tickets for holiday services. Goldman includes many personal asides, written with warmth, about his own family. In the chapter on mourn- ing, he tells of his mother's death and the process of saying good-bye, and, in the section on beginnings, he writes about the comfort of naming his son, born five weeks later, after her. In sections labeled "Variations on a Theme," he offers examples of idiosyn- cratic practices. These are his favorite parts — "the characters who animate the book," he says. There's the stockbroker who makes only outgoing calls on the Sabbath but never takes incoming calls, so that one day a week, he gets to set the telephone agenda. There's the woman who con- verted to Judaism who can't fast on Yom Kippur for health reasons but instead refrains from speaking for 25 hours. He writes of people whose observance of the laws of kashrut ease up outside of a 50-mile radius of their hometown and those who "won't keep any rituals but wouldn't think of buying a German car, listening to a Wagner opera or reading Ezra Pound." Goldman encourages Jewish learning, along with the search for what is mean- things you didn't think you knew You remember while you're writing and find yourself writing something you never thought you would." When Hays travels with his book, he hopes audiences will ask lots of questions, either during the formal presentation or while he is signing copies afterward. Because his book conveys the personalities of real peo- ple, he let them review it before send- ing it to his publisher. "I discovered a belief in God that I wasn't sure I had and find myself rein- vented and reinvigorated," Hays reveals about the results of his writing. "As for the ceremonies, I believe that I'm no better than a 13-year-old boy. I aim to be inquisitive." Hays, who has described himself as the one student not required to pro- vide permission slips for outings, keeps in touch with some of the bar mitzvah classmates he came to know well. From his interactions with youths and the lack of emphasis on religion in his ear- mtmity. How are you doing that? NG: I'm still dealing with the edge. Its just that this edge has to do with people. Even though my book is trying to correct what I think is an imbalance in the way pop culture views spirituality today, I recognize that there's probably been an imbalance in my own life, favoring raw experience over more inti- mate interpersonal relationships. Historically, for me, those have been a lot tougher than jumping out of an air- plane or facing down a grizzly bear. Two months ago I was taking a canoe trip in the Arctic Ocean. That wasn't hard for me. What's harder is finding God through the daily interactions with people. But it's something I'm becoming more comfortable with, as I'm develop- ing balance in my own spiritual life. rabbi" and "rabbicop." Which term best describes you, and how do you juggle your many roles? NG: Like any label, they're all kind of stupid. I don't call myself any of these things. Sometimes I don't even call myself a rabbi. I don't know what I am. I say in one chapter that I'm trying to harmonize the call of the wild with the call of my faith. On one level that's a sound byte, but on another it's true. I mean, I fundamentally view myself as a teacher, and sometimes as a guide, but not as a functionary. I didn't go to graduate school for five years to say the Hamotzi before the sisterhood lunch- eon. Anybody can do that. My job is to educate people the best that I can, so they can live their own Jewish lives. Its really been a struggle. There's been a lot of pressure for me, both financial and otherwise, to take the conventional path, and I'vejust 29244 Northwestern Highway (248) 351-2925 `GOD AT THE EDGE' from page 87 1111ffilfliff1111011111 Experiencing the death of a loved one, breaking up with a relationship, going through a major life transition there are lots of triggers like the experi- ences I write about. A lot of the different thinkers I write about in this book view the human condition as one of struggle and con- flict and sometimes pain. If you view the human condition itself as one of struggle, then everybody's at the edge. So it's not that much of a leap to think that you can find spirituality at the edge, because all it means is that you can find spirituality in everyday life. JN: In the last chapter of the book, you talk about your transition from being focused on your own spiritual quest to integrating yourself into a Jewish corn- 11/3 00 20 8 8 JN: You've been called "new-fangled," I, very modern, postmodern, cyber- CC " " "