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October 20, 2000 - Image 131

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2000-10-20

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

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Ask Wendy

Turn To a Rabbi
For Conversion Queries

Dear Wendy:

thinks sneaking around is the
My husband's first wife was
wrong way to go about it.
not Jewish, although she
— Time For A Covert
agreed to raise their children as
Conversion?
Jews. Their first child was con-
Last time I checked, a
verted shortly after his birth,
rabbi was needed to perform a
but they never got around to
conversion. Consult your rabbi,
converting their second child.
who is unquestionably better
During the divorce proceed-
qualified than I to address the
ings, my husband didn't want
complexities
of this situation.
WENDY
to rock the boat by raising the
Which is not to say that I
BELZBERG
topic; now that he and I are
don't have an opinion. If I
Sp ecial to
married, he is not on very
thought you could get away
the Jewish News
good terms with his ex. His
with it, I'd probably side with
daughter is now 3 years old
you. But you can't. Don't you
and it is very important to me that she
think a 3-year-old might blab about three
undergoes an Orthodox conversion. I
men standing by while she was dunked
don't think we should consult her moth-
naked in a pool? And you may not ask a
er and risk the possibility that she "will
3-year-old to lie to her mother. With a
harden her heart." I say we take her to a
newborn, the ethical dilemma would be
mikvah (ritual bath) now My husband
the same, but at least you wouldn't have

to worry about being tattled on.
Your husband needs to remind his ex
of the promise that she made and
inform her that he is prepared to pro-
ceed with their daughter's conversion,
with or without her consent. Lawyers
spend hours negotiating pre-nuptial
agreements to avoid the revenge factor
during divorce. Let this be a lesson to all
interfaith couples who think this could
never happen to them: GET IT IN

WRITING.

* * * * *

* * *

Dear Wendy:
I'm single, Jewish and desperate to
get married. I feel like I've dated every
available man on the planet. I think it
might be time to settle for and marry

with less-than-perfect passion. Is there
anything wrong with that?

— Ready To Settle

Sounds like a plan. First, find some-
one you think you can tolerate. Then,
take the lucky man out for a quiet dinner
and tell him the good news: "I've decided
to marry you. I'm not madly in love with
you. In fact, I don't love you at all, and I
think I'm getting a lot less than I deserve.
But let's hurry and set the date so we can
book the hall."
A marriage should be based on total
honestly, after all. ❑

Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954

Lexington Ave. #189, New York, NY
10021, or e-mail

askwenciy@diejewishnews.com

10/20
2000

131

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