Marketplace Marketplace Home and Services Ask Wendy Piano Tuning/ Refinishing MAYER GLUZMAN PIANO SERVICE European and American Experience since 1974 More To A Bar Mitzvah Registered Craftsman Piano Technicians Guild Than The Party ■ Tuning ■ Repair ■ Restoration ■ Refinish AMRAEL Expert Moving Roofing ■ Siding ■ Gutters Windows & Doors ■ Carpentry Prefab Fireplaces Cultured Stone ■ Installation We buy and sel used Oros 248-661-4869 Telephone Service Repair REASONABL RATES ZELL (248) 542-REDO (7336) FREE ESTIMATES For Quail Roofin D e al with a Pro ! • Residential & Commercial Roofing Specialists - Entire Roof installation and Repairs • General Contracting NG Experienced and Capable! 28860 Southfield Road • Suite 2 61 • Lathrup Village, Michigan 48076 Phone (248) 443-5722 • Fax (248) 443 7580 - Fully Licensed and Insured Upholstery OLL WIRED UP -Jack installation for computer, telephone and fax lines - Pre-Wiring - New Construction -Telephone Wiring Repair RON BLOCK 242492-991ty Television/VCR Repair TELEVISION, PROJECTION TV & COMPUTER REPAIR • All work guaranteed • Most work done in your home • Very reasonable Call HAROLD COHEN 350-3076 Tile Work MOB ERING arbtn lipbottering Located in Farmington where comfort is common! 32725 GRAND RIVER FARMINGTON, MI 48335 Window Washing 248-474-6931 FREE ESTIMATES Window Washing WINDOW CLEANING Residential Commercial Free Estimates CERAMIC TILE INSTALLATION Rarcceling riElcaing New constrirticri Free Estimates All Work Guaranteed TAYLOR TILE (248) 592-9616 CERAMIC TILE/REPAIR • Tile installation • Caulking • Repair water damage Small jobs and repair welcome 10/6 2000 126 Licensed & Insured 248-882-8150 about how to divide my Dear Wendy: belongings among my three My son has decided children. that he doesn't want to There are several items — have a bar mitzvah cere- jewelry, silver, art — that I mony; he thinks the would love for my children whole idea has become to enjoy while I am still commercialized and over- alive. I'm afraid, however, rated. He is a fine and that if I start to distribute conscientious student, WENDY any of my belongings now,' with a healthy grasp of BELZBERG it will result in jealousy morals and a strong Special to and resentment among my appreciation for religion. the Jewish News children. Is there a good Do we bow to his wishes way to handle this? on this one, given that he — Getting Smarter As I Get has learned everything he needs to Older learn in order to get up on that The bitter disputes that can result bimah [dias]? I will admit that when a will is thought to be most of his friends' bar mitzvah inequitable can tear a family apart. celebrations have been rather Better that you're alive to mediate empty affairs. — Bolting The Bimah A boy becomes a bar mitzvah when he is 13 and is called to the Torah for the first time. According to Jewish law, he is now old enough to under- stand God's commandments and obligated to fulfill them. Standing on the bimah in front of the congregation is a time for your son to reflect upon his commitment to God, his place among the Jewish people and his responsibility to his community. If you look way, way back in Jewish history, say 60 years, you will arrive at a time when a boy became a bar mitzvah without engraved invitations, designer-clad classmates nattering in the congregation, a band or a D.J. Imagine that! Your son's bar mitzvah need not be a commercial affair. Before you bow to his wishes, you and your son should spend more time talking to your rabbi and less time with the party planner. now rather than have your legacy be a rift among your children later. Too few individuals are willing to contem- plate their own death. I applaud your courage. The first thing to do is to sit your three children down in the same room and discuss your dilemma. You might be surprised to discover that they are not fighting over the same things and that each of your belong- ings has different sentimental value for each of your children. If this is not the case, you have several options. First, let your chil- dren try to work it out among themselves. If that doesn't work, a simple coin toss, lottery or drawing of straws will do. Leaving it to chance is far better than it being left to you. Ditto, when it comes to the items you leave your children in your will. The mom-always-loved- you-best conflict is hard enough to contend with while you are alive. You are wise not to leave any sparks after you're gone. O * * * * * * * * * Dear Wendy: I am in my early 70s. While I hope to live to 120, I have gotten my will in order and begun to think Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954 Lexington Avenue #189, New York, NY 10021, or e-mail askwendy@thejewishnews.com