arket lace

Ask Wendy

ROLLING OAKS SUBDIVISION
FARMINGTON HILLS

Striving For
Holiday Meaning

ar Wendy:
I have always gone to tern-
on Rosh Hashanah and I
always bored. If I don't go
guilty, but is there really
/- point in going when the
)erience is not meanin
me?

her much wiggle room.
The month of Elul is a time
of reflection, repentance and
return (teshuvah). Will you
accept nothing less than your
wife following on your journey,
or can you accept her the way
she is, the way she was when
Searching For
you married her? If you don't
piration
WENDY
accept her as is, you deprive her
If you're looking for permis-
BELZBERG
of something even God would
n to stop attending High
not: freedom of choice.
Special to
)liday services, you've written
She may or may not come to
the Jewish News
the wrong columnist.
be more observant but it is a
If last year's experience was
sign of her love and respect for
ring, not to mention the years before
you that she agreed to keep a kosher
a, why haven't you sought out a differ-
home. Show her the same respect, and
: rabbi and a different shul? Given the
your marriage has a chance. Leave the
iousness of the holidays (book of life
door open and she may follow you; drag
death and other matters), it would
her behind and you will not only poison
"cm to me that you're leaning in the
your marriage, but your children's feelings
'long direction. Even if you choose riot
about Judaism as well. Tread carefully.
pray in the traditional sense, Rosh
ishanah is the right time to do so, and a
ngregation filled with fellow Jews is the
ht place for self-examination and reflec-
n.
Wendy Belzberg is a nationally syndicated
Take along an anthology of stories and
advice columnist. She is as comfortable
ays meant to be studied during the hol-
swapping
brisket recipes as she is dis-
iys or pick up a copy of The Rosh
cussing
quantum
physics. However,
zshanah Yom Kippur Survival Kit by
because of her strong Jewish background
imon Apisdorf (order from Aish
many of the questions she receives tend to
iTorah: 1-800-722-3191). Reading a
have some Jewish content.
ok during those minutes — or hours
Belzberg hails from the Canadian
you are bored is the way many people
prairies,
received an Ivy League education
E through the long services.
and spent the first 20 years of her career as
* * * * * * * *
a television and print journalist. She has
experience with parents (having had two
of her own and become one herself), sib-
..ar Wendy:
lings and husbands, marriages and
My wife and I were both raised in
divorce, serious illness and robust health.
wish homes but were "High Holy Day"
She is equally adept discussing board-
ws, at best. Over the past several years,
room
and birthday party politics and,
lave become more committed. I asked
despite
her success, still doles out free
y wife to keep a kosher home, and she
advice
to
the many friends who seek her
is agreed. But I have also begun to
counsel.
She
never misses an opportunity
)serve Shabbat, go to minyan [formal
to
offer
an
opinion,
whether solicited or
ayers] every day and study weekly with
not. Most of her sentences begin with her
ir rabbi. We seem to be moving in dif-
signature demurral: "Nobody asked my
rent directions and I feel as though our
opinion, but . ..”
arriage is coming apart.

About Wendy

1.

'

-

Keeping The Faith

You are the one who has driven off in a
efferent direction. Your wife has every
od reason to be suffering from
hiplash. Factor in that you can claim
od on your side and that doesn't leave

Write to ifelsk Wendy" at 954
Lexington Ave. #189, New York, NY
10021, or e-mail

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Take the first step.
Call 1-800-ACS-2345 for
information that can help
you make ad impact.

wendy@thejevvishnews.com

,

MOGRAM

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9/29

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A Pudic Service of

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