Celebrating their b'not
mitzvah are, left to right,
Robin Gold, Nancy Scheer,
Natalie Lapin, Gail
Gilman, Cindy Schwartz,
Debbie Silver.

or given up the opportunity to become bat
mitzvah at a time when the milestone for
girls was just beginning to be accepted
within the Conservative and Reform move-
ments.
Natalie Lapin is one who said she had
"always thought about it."
"The boys in my class in Hebrew school
were having bar mitzvahs but bat mitzvahs
just weren't common. Girls had Sweet 16
parties. But since I became an adult, I
noticed more and more women were doing
this and I wanted to do it, too."
Being an example for their children
showing them how important learning and
Judaism is — was another motivation.
Gail Gilman said before she considered
doing this, her 10-year-old daughter said
she did not want a bat mitzvah celebration.
"She said that I didn't have one, so why

The

The bat mitzvah ceremony is a relatively
new creation in the history of Judaism.
The first such recorded event occurred in
1922, when Judith Kaplan, daughter of
Reconstructionist movement founder
Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan, celebrated her
bat mitzvah.
Unlike a bar mitzvah, which occurs after
a boy turns 13, a bat mitzvah takes place
after a girl turns 12 or 13, a nod to the fact
that girls reach physical maturity earlier
than boys. Girls typically are called to lead
the service by chanting the haftorah, sup-
plemental readings to the Torah from the
Prophets. In some more traditional
Conservative congregations and some more
liberal Orthodox congregations, bat mitz-
vah girls celebrate the occasion at female-
only study and prayer sessions where the

should she," Gilman recalled. "I told her we
didn't do these things back then.
Though Jolie Kaufmann-Laker and
Kathryn Nelson finished the class early and
had individual bdalat Torah celebrations,
the other six students decided they'd take
the plunge together on the Shabbat before
Mother's Day.
That morning, the temple's sanctuary was
packed with the women's friends and rela-
tives, some coming from the East and West
coasts. When their time came, the women
performed their roles beautifully, chanting
their parts and leading the prayers.
Like a true mother, Gilman said she was
prepared for the emotion of the occasion.
"I made sure I wore a suit with pockets to
hold extra tissues," she said, laughing.
Gold said that while none of the women
plans to pursue the rabbinate, all will be

"

able to use their newfound skills in the
coming years.
"Now I can help my kids with their
Hebrew homework and now I can attend
shul and not get lost in the service," she
said. That means a lot to me."
The women turned out to be more of an
inspiration than they ever imagined.
Immediately after their service, 10 mem-
bers of the nursery school staff and three
other individuals decided they wanted to
embark on the same kind of education.
They will begin this fall.
The b'not mitzvah "are an example not
only for their kids but for the congregation,"
Rabbi Klein said.

Jill Davidson Sklar is a freelance

writer living in Huntington Woods.

f Bat Mitzvah

girls lead a portion of the learning.
The "adult bat mitzvah" is something of a
misnomer because women past age 12 are
expected to keep the commandments, just
like their pubescent equals, even without a
ceremony. The term ba'alat Torah, meaning
master of the Torah, is more appropriate
because the women not only learn to read
Hebrew but also to chant from the Torah
and lead a service.

Some alternatives to this practice have
surfaced:

APPROPRIATE CELEBRATIONS

• The family hosts a party but donates
such things as specially made centerpieces
to the Oak Park-based Yad Ezra kosher
food pantry or to homeless shelters.

Since the 16th century, rabbis and com-
munity leaders have discouraged the prac-
tice of having lavish parties to honor the
bar mitzvah boy, saying these were oppor-
tunities to practice gluttony. The same
philosophy is true today for bar mitzvah
boys and bat mitzvah girls.

• Instead of receiving presents, some bat
mitzvah candidates have requested that
donations be made to causes targeting
women, such as breast cancer research or
domestic violence shelters.

• The family skips or dramatically down-
sizes the party and takes a trip to Israel.

• A gathering following the synagogue or
temple service brings family members and
friends together to tackle a community serv-
ice project in honor of the bat mitzvah.

n • sourcebook 2000 •

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