weave lives, generations together.

response cards. I know now that 30 min-
utes is more than enough time to decide on
what color kippot (head coverings) to order.
I also know there will not be enough time
to savor the weekend before it is over.
My firstborn's simcha was both his and
ours. This one is all Emma's. I proved
myself the first time around; this time per-
formance anxiety will be set aside to make
more room for delight.
Brit evinced the power of community.
Bat mitzvah shows me the power of trans-
formation. I grow giddy when I think of
my daughter on the bima this month. She,
once so shy, has
miraculously assumed
a mantle of confi-
dence, developed a
stunning eagerness to
take her place as a
Jewish adult. How
could it possibly have
happened without

Great-grandfather Abe
Berkowitz holds Elliot
Darvick during his brit

this singularly Jewish coming-of-age cere-
mony? I am grateful once again for the
loom upon which my life is woven.

THE CYCLE CONTINUES

One day my bat mitzvah will be a bride,
although I don't even want to think about
that just yet. She has too much living to do
before any dreams of chuppa (marriage)
and chatan (a husband).
Eighth day, thirteenth year, sometime
during adulthood — most life-cycle events
come at scripted times. Life's final turn,
however, is as inevitable as it is capricious.
Barely a year and a half
after journeying to
Michigan to be sandek
(person honored to hold
the baby at the brit) at
his great-grandson's brit,
my grandfather Abe was
dead. My beloved Aunt
Joycie lived long enough
to know she had a great-
niece, Emma, but never

got to see or hold her. My grandmother's
health is tenuous. Will I be granted time to
journey south to share with her the video
of my daughter's simcha?
In the shadow of death, we relive our
loved ones' existence. Photographs are
slipped from worn leather albums and
prominently displayed; familiar stories
about them are told and retold. The fabric
of Jewish life lengthens anew under the
warp and weft of these shared recollections.
Life-cycle events provide families with
the opportunity to mend the rips and tears
of past strife; they allow time and space for
binding new threads of communication
and commonality.
And while these special moments surely
can be misused for stirring up simmering
resentments and unfinished business, every
life-cycle event, whether joyous or mourn-
ful, is, above all, a time to come together
and reaffirm life's blessings.

Debra B. Darvick is a Birmingham writer,
who specializes in writing about - Jewish and
general issues.

n • sourcebook 2000 • 11