For Openers

JARC
WANTS
YOU!

How Time Flies
And Other Oddities

here are many
expressions in
our language that
never really
approach accuracy and
many of them bear little
relationship to reality.
If you have ever asked a
child (and why not pick
on them? They're little!) to
SY MANELLO
do something, you may
Editorial assistant have received the reply, "In
a second." Well, by a
child's measure, an hour's wait might be accu-
rate.
When you ask for assistance, do you ever hear,
"In just a minute"? I do not recommend holding
your breath for even half of the length of time
that turns out to be.
Of course, there are the evasive words that do
not pin the speaker down to anything even
remotely exact: "shortly" or "soon" or "right
away" These are meant to be off-putting and are
voiced with the fervent hope that you will grow
weary and do it yourself.
.
Consider the following. You may recall try-
ing to be pressured into permitting your off-
spring to participate in some activity because,
"They're all going." The "all" is, most likely,
one, child who might, if he can pressure his
folks into it.
Or what about the intimidating phrase: "statis-
tics say"? Never are you told what statistics or
who did the tabulating or on what basis — the
speaker probably does not even recall where the
numbers came from. Always remember that there
are lies, terrible lies, and statistics!
I do remember telling my children a million
times never to exaggerate, but to no avail.
I will continue my harangue after this brief
word from our sponsor ...

❑

By Goldfein

ne of the 13 countries represented in the African Jewish
Congress has more Jews than the other 12 combined.
Can you guess which country?

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‘viCuay 7nzvivpv ‘vmuivz wnepiquqz 73uvpzvais (anbmutvzopv
(vuvaislog uvw aiout s .z smai 000`oor didv a u sv.n. fy cpnos :aaazsuv

Yiddish Limericks

Be Someone's Hero

There once was a fella named Frank
Who constantly ate and then drank.
The doc said, "You're ill.
I'll give you a pill."
And now er est vee noch a crank!

Become a
Person-to-Person
Volunteer for )ARC

No Experience
Necessary

— Martha Jo Fleischmann

* he eats as if he just recovered from a sickness (i.e., with an
even heartier appetite)

Ideal recruit should be
caring, fun-loving, and -
could enjoy any of the
following activities:

quotables

"I thank you for being there when we needed
you, for rejoicing with us, for crying with us,
for strengthening our hands when we went
through the valley of bereavement."

. Shooting hoops

• s Visiting a library

— Rabbi M. Robe,rt Syme, at Temple
Israel's Shabbat services
in honor of his retirement
after almost 47 years of leadership
and his 80th birthday. A 21-year-old son
of Rabbi and Sonia Syme died in 1975.

lir Catching a Tigers'
game

Ar Just hanging out

Hours are flexible, and
benefits last a lifetime!

"The road to peace, as always, is a
,
two-way street. Both leaders
feel the weight of history but both, I believe, recognize this is a
moment in history which they can seize."

Rabbi Syme

,

— President Clinton, as the Camp David summit began.

GRAPILIEWZ By Mendel

ro7A.g,moRe THAN EVER, WE
ARE (N DESPERATE NEED

OF SPIRITUAL NOURISHMENT

ENLIST TODAY!

WE NEED -ro expLoRe luPAtsm!
EN)RicH OUR SOULS At OD ESCAPE
FROM rHe mutoDAAjc BUSY-
NE SS OF LIFE! DON'T 'JOU
' AGREE/ FRANK?

r

Call (248) 352-5277
ext. 349,.

OM, FRAM K

soRR9, I WAS
CHECKING SPORTS
SCORES ON M9 PALM
Pa.o -r. SO:
WHAT'S UP?

Because doing something
good for someone will do a
world of good for you.

Helping people with disabilities
lead full, dignified lives

A•r

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jarc@jarc.org • www.jarc.org.
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