dren always seems subject to interpretation by differ-
ent streams of Judaism. To circumcise or not? To go
to the mikva or not? To keep kosher or not? How
Jewish is Jewish enough when you look so different?
For Rabbi Gold, the rule is clear. To be brought
into his synagogue, he requires circumcision and
immersion in a mikva. Because no mikva is avail-
able to him in Florida to convert adoptees, he uses
the ocean.

Not My Planting, But My Harvest

"I have chosen to wear my traditional Korean han-
bok [Korean dress] for this occasion," Jineene Adler
said at the opening of her secular bat mitzvah in
1989 with Workmen's Circle/Arbeter Ring. "Since
this is one of the most important days pertaining to
the Jewish aspect of my life, I decided to bring part
of my Korean heritage into it too."
Jineene went on to read a poem in Yiddish and
in English and then presented her secular bat mitz-
vah project, a paper on The Jews of China.
Her mother, Jan Adler, the Workmen's Circle
Sunday school director, celebrates her family's dif-
ferences. She believes both parents and children are
enriched in a multi-ethnic adoption. The Adler
home is decorated with Korean pottery, folk art and
costumes, coexisting harmoniously with Jewish arti-
facts, posters and children's art projects.
"Love is not enough," she says to parents consid-
ering a foreign adoption. "Parents have an obliga-
tion to the history and background of each culture,
Jewish and the birth culture."
At 23, Jineene is an engineer in California where
she has recently rejoined Workmen's Circle.
Jan and husband Jess also adopted their son
Jeremy, 21, from Korea. He had a different way of
relating to his cultural heritage, reflected in his
choices at 13.
His bar mitzvah project in 1991 combined his
love of sports, his Jewish-Korean heritage and the
experience of prejudice by a minority. In his presen-
tation, he talked about two-time Olympic diver Dr.
Sammy Lee, who wasn't allowed to train in the
same pool as whites, and Harold Abrahams, the
Jewish runner celebrated in the film Chariots of Fire.
"You can't force culture down a child's throat.
You just have to make it available," says Adler, her-
self adopted during an era when children were
"matched" to look like their adopted parents. She
always knew she would adopt, and when local
babies were difficult to find in the late '70s, she and
her husband were among the first Jewish couples in
the area to adopt from Korea. They became pio-
neers in the process and went on to teach ethnic
awareness workshops for the Americans for
International Services, an adoption aid agency.
"A child's birth culture is always a positive
thing," says Diane St. Peter, director of adoption
at the Southfield-based Jewish Family Service and
its Alliance for Adoption division. "It's important
to instill an equal amount of pride in both
Judaism and in the culture where the child is
from.
"Being part of a non-traditional family does not
make you not traditional. It just opens you up to
traditions of more than one culture."

Instilling Judaism

As a child grows older, issues not specific to adop-
tion arise, but may require extra sensitivity by the
adoptive parents.
Though even a biological child, for example, will
say, "I'm not interested in Hebrew school," when
it's your adopted child who says it, there's another
layer of the kid expressing his thought that "I'm not
really Jewish."'
"It's very important to acknowledge and be hon-
est that your child was not born Jewish. Be careful

not to get into power struggles with your child at
this time," advises Linda Yellin, M.S.W., A.C.S.W.
The Farmington Hills counselor is recognized inter-
nationally as an authority on adoption.
"'This is what we believe,' Yellin would have par-
ents say to the child. "'We
want you to have this edu-
A holiday
cation and when you're an
gathering with the
adult you can make your
Hoffman family.
own decision about what
From left: Jordan,
Jacqueline, Anna,
religion you want.'"
Frank and Jonah.
Steve Krausz, president

5/26
2000

