The Culture of Adoption
FACES from page 12
Comprised of 35 to 40 families, the
group also invites people who are con-
sidering adoption to join them.
The Adoption Maze
"I had no idea the infra-structure
around adoption was so daunting,"
says Alice Audie-Figueroa, wife of
David Hecker. "Yet every time things
got tough, someone popped up who
opened their heart to us, like doctors
or travel agents."
When the Heckers realized the dif-
ficulty in finding a child to adopt
locally, they extended their search
- beyond the United States. They chose
Latin America because Alice's mother
was from Venezuela and, at the time,
Guatemala had simpler adoption pro-
cedures.
For Vlasopolos and Ambrogio,
before the Guatemalan government
would even -begin legal proceedings in
their courts, the couple had to
process 18 documents. Each had to
be notarized, then sent to Wayne
County forverification, mailed to the
Guatemalan Consulate in Chicago for
authentication, and finally returned
to their adoption agency in
Oklahoma; who forwarded all the
documents to Guatemala along with
the couple's dossier.
They expect their new daughter
Beatriz to arrive in June.
It's hard to' imagine the ordeal one
Farmington Hills family went through
in their quest to adopt daughter
Anna, then 3 1 12 from the Ukraine, and
son Jonah, 5, from Albania.
In her cheery Farmington Hills
kitchen, Jacqueline Fox details her
and husband Frank Hoffman's chaotic
year trying to adopt their foreign-
born children, speaking as biological
daughter Jordana, 7, and a friend
twirl around in tutus. Anna, almost
5, is at a birthday party and Jonah,
almost 6, snuggles in his mother's lap.
Fox's story includes American
agencies that "misrepresented every-
thing," an incompetent home study,
lost fingerprints and unsuccessful
attempts to get congressmen to step
in to get their stalled Immigration
and Naturalization Service (INS)
application approved.
Despite these hassles, the family
finally found a wonderful adoption
agency called the International
Children's Alliance in Washington
D.C., and some "fabulous people in
Kiev and Sebastopol."
In this seaport outside of Kiev
where they would meet their future
daughter, Anna, they had a translator
5/26
2000
14
at all times. They gave
"gifts" — leather goods,
toiletries and money —
to their representative to
distribute as necessary.
Despite their harrow-
ing experience with
bureaucracy, the
Hoffmans went on to
adopt Jonah in Albania
only 11 months later.
Aside from the exten-
sive emotional invest-
ment, foreign adoption
also carries a high finan-
cial component. The
people interviewed for
this article spent
between $ .10,000 and
$30,000 to process their
adopted child, including
payment to organiza-
tions caring for the
child, transportation and
other expenses to meet
the child in a foreign
country.
Love At First Sight
Adoption Resources
• International Aid and Adoption. Nancy Fox,
director, (248) 362-1207.
• Jewish Children's Adoption Network. Publishes
quarterly newsletter; $36 donation. Steve Krausz,
president, (303) 573-8113.
• Jewish Family Service. Diane St. Peter, director
of adoption for Alliance for Adoption division,
(248) 559-1500.
• Morningstar Agency. Holds free public meeting
on adoption on fourth Thursday each month.
Rose Williams, director, (248) 399-2740.
• The International Children's Alliance,
Washington, D.C. Debbie McFadden, director,
(202) 463-6874.
• Linda Yellin, adoption counselor, (248) 851-0120.
sport Groups
• Families Of Latin Kids (FOIX), Kathi, (734)
971-5661.
• Families for Russian & Ukrainian Adoption
(FRUA). Mary Ellen, (248) 427-8077.
• Families with Children from China (FCC).
Melanie, (248) 737-2728.
• Stars of David. Rosa Schindler, president,
(248) 661-3978.
• The Family Tree (families with adopted
infants), (248) 557-3501.
With all the drama sur-
rounding the adoption of
a child, each parent still
has a special "first sight"
story.
"We were sitting in
From The Bookshelf
the director's office when
• Gold, Rabbi Michael, And Hannah Wept
we first saw Anna,"
(Jewish Publication Society, $29.95)
Jacqueline Fox says. "She
wore a blue-and-white
• Rosenberg, Shelley, Adoption in the Jewish Family
pinafore with a big white
(Jewish Publication Society, $19.95)
bow in her very short
hair. Frank held out his
arms and she walked
good-or bad, it's just a reality."
right up to him and let him pick her
For example, sibling readjustment
up. At that point, I knew we were
in
homes
with a biological child, like
adopting Anna."
the Heckers and the Hoffmans,
On first seeing Gustavo at age 2'/2,
requires special understanding.
Audie-Figueroa says, "Love was auto-
Ask Joelle Hecker, 11, what it's like
matic. It's the amazing thing and
having two new brothers and she's
makes no difference whether you get
quick to reply: "Less attention."
a child from a physical act of love or
So what's the good part?
out of the act of love filling out
"Less attention!" interjects her
papers. They're your kid."
mother Alice, before Joelle can
Stars of David President Schindler
answer. Both of them laugh, but
says, "Before seeing my child, I wor-
there's some truth to it. Joelle's late-
ried, 'Will my child like me? Will I
night reading in bed when she should
like my child?'" But once her 4-
be asleep, is possible, she says,
month-old child arrived at the air-
because her parents are busy caring
port, it was total unconditional love.
for her younger brothers.
The adoptee also experiences gains
Life Becomes Different
and losses, which for a foreign-born
child, may be reflected in their
"When adopting there are gains and
experiences at school or in learning a
losses for all in the family — parents,
new language.
grandparents and children — not just
Jonah Hoffman lived in an
the adopted child," says Linda Yellin,
the adoption counselor. "This isn't
FACES on page 16