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Seder House Rules
Two families have unique Passover traditions.
LISA BARSON
Special to the Jewish News
Tvvet,
R
esearch, readings and role-
playing are what Joshua
Lerner, 33, of Huntington
Woods, does before
Passover.
The Lerner family seder, as always,
will begin next Wednesday with a video
created by Lerner's father, Leonard. The
video, which opens with an enlarged
picture of the cover of the family
Haggadah, recounts major events that
happened in the family during the past
year, complete with interviews. When it
ends, Leonard welcomes the guests.
Attendance ranges from 15 to 25
people. Lerner's sisters and their fami-
lies always fly home for the holiday.
"My parents have always made a real
effort to make our seders special," says
Lerner. "I've been to other seders and
it's never been as much fun.
"Each year, my parents select a dif-
ferent theme or subject, and we are all
required to research our assigned sec-
tions and be prepared to discuss them
at the table," explains Lerner.
One year, the family role-played
the exodus out of Egypt, another year
they were all asked to bring a different
Haggada so the family could discuss
the differences in the writings. Once,
guests were assigned one of the 10
plagues to research. As the plagues
were recited, each person discussed
how that plague affected the
Egyptians and Israelites, and spoke
about a current "plague."
The Lerners' annual topics generally
alternate between the scholarly and
those with family connections. "One of
the most memorable seders for me was
the year we were all asked to bring our
own kiddush cup," says Lerner.
"Everyone went around the table
and told the story of when and where
they received their cup. It was very
emotional."
The subject at the Lerner seder this
year is "Motherhood: Passover stories
through the eyes of [Moses' sister]
Miriam."
American
Heart
AssociationAr
Rotidng Heart Disease
and Stroke
Medical miracles
start with research
The Scene
The entertainment doesn't end when
the books close. Lerner's brother-in-law
brings out his mandolin, his aunt sits
down at the piano, his cousin gets his
bass and the music begins. "We rill it
our musical interlude. We begin with
the traditional Passover music, but we
usually digress into show tunes and Al
Jolson," he says. The music lasts into
the night. "It's a special tradition which
began eight years ago with my brother-
in-law -- he brought music into our
family." Four-year-old niece Allegra now
gets fiddle accompaniment when she
recites the Four Questions.
Sara Bernstein's nuclear family
embraces another tradition. The
Torah directs Jews to welcome the
stranger on Passover, to "let all who
are hungry come and eat." The
Bernsteins invites foreign exchange
students and their host families to
join their family's Passover seders.
Bernstein, 32, of Farmington Hills,
was raised in the Cleveland suburb of
Beachwood, Ohio. Her family was
very involved in the American Field
Service, an organization devoted to
facilitating student and teacher
exchanges around the world. The
family has hosted two foreign
exchange students for a full year
apiece: one from Italy and another
from Japan.
"My parents began having these
guests at our seders when I was 7
years old," says Bernstein. Most of the
students had never heard of Passover,
much less attended a seder. The
Bernstein seder was always participa-
tory. "The students' command of
English was usually pretty good by
April, but even we would all be trip-
ping over our tongues by the time we
got to (the song) 'Who Knows One,'"
she remembers.
The Bernsteins always let their for-
eign guests find the afikomen (middle
matza). "Part of the holiday shopping
would include buying the latest cassette
tape of a popular band to give as a prize
for finding the afikomen," she laughs.
The foreign guests came to the
Bernsteins with their host families, a
first seder for some of them, too.
Married with a 1-year-old son,
Bernstein now goes to her aunt's house
at Passover. In the future, she and her
husband Gary Kravitz hope to host
their own seders, inviting foreign guests
and those unfamiliar with the holiday.
"I explain to people I work with
and my non-Jewish friends what the
holiday is all about," she says, "but
they really understand when they
experience it firsthand." ❑