and usually the Haftorah.
of the congregation.
Generally, it was a simple celebra-
"It's no longer an isolated event,
tion which recognized that the boy
separate and apart from what pre-
has just out on tefillin. Many times
ceded the bar or bat mitzvah," he
the celebrations took place on the
said. At Adat Shalom, parents —
day the boy turned 13 and put on
and sometimes siblings — are
the tefillin. Sometimes people wait-
encouraged to study Torah and
ed until Shabbat to have a Kiddush
Haftorah with the bar or bat mitz-
in shul. The child had reached a
vah youngster in order to learn and
point in life where the mitzvot
share the essence of the event.
began to count," he explained.
"It's not about who should be
Rabbi Silberberg speculated that
invited or who should sit with whom
peer pressure, the impulse to share
but to study the Torah, Haftorah and
or even flaunt one's wealth and gen-
Maftir portions," said Rabbi
eral ignorance of Jewish law among
Yoskowitz. And teenagers are required
Jews
have led to the spectacle that is
to donate their energies to needy
today's
bar and bat mitzvah. And
organizations and taught, according
parties,
he said sighing, "are part of
to Jewish law, to give away a portion
the American way of life."
of the money they receive as gifts.
To celebrate the bar or bat mitz-
As a consequence, many b'nai
vah in a material way, he said, "is a
mitzvah decide on their own to ask
rejection of the true message of a
the guests at their parties to do the
bar mitzvah, which is to celebrate
same, or in a few cases, to host a
the spiritual maturity of the soul."
luncheon where the centerpieces
Rabbi Daniel Syme of Temple
might be books or baskets that ulti-
Beth
El noted that the bar and bat
mately will be donated.
mitzvah service at his Bloomfield
One of the more memorable cel-
Township synagogue is much more
ebrations at the synagogue was a
serious than it was when he per-
Kiddush at which no candles were
formed his some 40 years ago. Back
lit in deference to Shabbat and the
then, the bar mitzvah boy was
parents and guests dressed modestly
called to the bima to recite the
as befitting the day.
blessings, read the Torah and
That such observance is unusual
Haftorah portions.
is distressing to Rabbi Elimelech
Today, the bar or bat mitzvah pre-
Silberberg of the Sara Tugman Bais
pares extensively to lead an entire
Chabad Torah Center in West
Shabbat service, including delivering
Bloomfield.
a sermon that relates to the Torah
He disdains parties where young
portion. And they are also required to
teenagers dress in the fashions of
do one mitzvah project, although
the day, often immodestly, and feels
most do more,and often integrate
that most Jews don't understand
their newfound sense of community
enough about Judaism to celebrate
into the Service.
appropriately.
A young woman recently
The Shulchan Aruch (the 16th
announced in her bat mitzvah talk
century codification of Jewish law),
that she was planting 100 trees in
said Rabbi Silberberg, obligates
Israel through the Jewish National
Jews to celebrate a circumcision, a
Fund. Another used food baskets
pidyon haben (the symbolic redemp-
for Yad Ezra in Oak Park as the
tion of the first-born son) and a
table centerpieces, Rabbi Syme said.
wedding.
"These are just some of the ways
"Nowhere is there mention of
in which the transformation is
the celebration of a bar or bat mitz-
being felt. In the past, I have seen
vah," he said. American Orthodox
congregations in which the bar or
Jews, whose children learn Hebrew
bat mitzvah was an exercise in
and Torah on a daily basis, tend to
memorization. It was done to please
follow European tradition: the bar
the parents and very often it was
mitzvah reads from the Torah,
something you had to do to get to
chants the Haftorah and basks in
the party.
mazel toys" at a Kiddush afterward.
" At least with our kids here, the
"In Europe, most bar mitzvahs
emphasis is on the service."
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