For Openers

our Motto Is • •
lave A Little Something'

Yiddish Limericks

A shadchan's* new client named Nifty
Said, "Frankly, your reference looks shifty.
If she's alleh mylehs**
My only real shyleh's***
How come she's still single at 50?!"

R

emember when the pressing ques-
tion regarding your child was,
"When can we start the baby on
food?"
— Martha Jo Fleischmann
Then there was the delight when new food
tastes were added and accepted — nay, even
matchmaker
demanded. (I must admit that I thought any
possessed of all virtues
baby food containing processed bananas was
*** question
putrid, but then I only had to smell it, not
ingest it.)
Lately, I've been reminded of the fussy
stages we had with our own kids, only now
its the grandchildren who are challenging
us.
"That's why it was so easy for me to make
Yet never underestimate the power of a cre-
Yentl.' My grandfather would take me into an
ative mother, or in this case a bubbie (my
Orthodox synagogue and I would sit with
wife's been delightfully promoted four times).
him. The women were upstairs. I was one
Tuna casserole was never greeted too
of the men."
warmly in our home by the little ones.
— Barbra Streisand, on how her youth pre-
However, when the announcement came
pared her for her role as a male yeshiva stu-
that this dish was "Octopus Stew," it was
dent in the movie, "Yentl."
devoured with demands for more. When
playmates were told that name, we did
"In addition to New York's black citizens,
meet with some .interesting looks; but they
a significant number of complaints are
often liked it, too. It seems kids will almost 1 . filed by Chasidic Jews."
Barbra Streisand
always try anything that sounds really
1 — A press release for the Web site
weird.
pickusup.com , which aids New Yorkers in
Minestrone soup is one of our winter sta-
filing discrimination claims against taxicab drivers.
ples. Not really partial to soups, one grand-
child will devour what Bubbie now calls
"There can be no mistakes, so I tend to book them at the end of the
"Trucker Soup" — he's a fan of big rigs.
day"
Nearly all of the kids seem to delight in
— Mark Garrison, a New York hairstylist for supermodels Cindy Crawford
"sauces." This means that almost anything
and Naomi Campbell, who recently started styling wigs for Orthodox
can get ingested with the correct amount
clients. He was referring to the four hours he devotes to each wig — at
(anything from a tablespoon to a quarter cup
$600 per cut.
of maple syrup or catsup or salsa or — you
name it!
"I normally defend my denomination. I'm loyal to it. But I have never
Now, if we can only get the parents of the
targeted Muslims; I have never targeted Jews."
kids to realize that it is important for every-
— The Rev. Billy Graham, responding to increased efforts by the Southern
one to have something to eat at least once an
Baptist Convention to proselytize Jews and other non-Christians.
hour — oh, my gosh; have we turned into
our parents?! ❑
"I took a break from teaching to become a pioneer in the sky"
—Sy Manello, I — Osmiyah Badui, 24, the first Arab woman to complete El Al Airlines'
Editorial Assistant
cabin crew course.

quotables

)

GRAPLIEWZ BY Mendel

RAOSI,GREAT SHABBAT SERMON
Tol7A! we OF ,YOUR BEST !

tJg ReRui
ENJUY us-ren)-
ING TO oUf<
SERMONS

THANK .Y00
VERY MUCH I.

50, WHICP PART P17 WA)
/AKE BEST?

UM_
04-1, WHICH PART?..
77-IAT FIRST PART, AAP OF COURSE
THAT OTHER PART-
AAJP
THAT PART
IN-BETWEEN•.•

BECAUSE
EVERY
.CHILD
IS PART
OF OUR
COMMUNITY

JARC
Merle and Shirley Harris
Children and
Family Division

Services for children with special
needs and their families.

At"

Services Currently
Available

✓ Outreach, support,
information, referral and
advocacy for families

✓ Educational and social
programs for families

✓ In-home respite care with a
trained JARC staff person

✓ Case management with a
person-centered focus

✓ Aides so children with
special needs can
participate in organized
recreational activities with
their non-disabled peers

✓ Comprehensive supports to
help a small number of
children with special needs
successfully attend
religious schools

Call JARC at

248-352-5272

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• • • • • *41.
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28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, MI 48034
jarc@jarc.org
www.jarc.org

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2000

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