LETTERS

COMMUNITY VIEWS

Respecting Our Differences

5,000 members) to meet
Lynchbur , Va.
also long and often requires many
Rev.
Jerry Falwell and
rowing up in Oak Park in
alterations. This may be unknown to,
his
congregation
this
the '60s and '70s, I went to
or overlooked by builders who built
past
October
to
discuss
a good Hebrew school
synagogues to conform to local regu-
hate speech. Unlike the
because my parents wanted
lations.
news reports that
to "do the right thing." Since our
The rooms we rented in Shaarey
pegged us as "200 radi-
household was mostly non-observant,
Zedek were perfectly safe, but had not
cal militant gay
many
of
the
lessons
didn't
make
sense
been scrutinized by the state fire mar-
activists," our delegation
back
then.
shal for approval. The process would
included people who
Because of this,
have been long and might have
were
straight, gay, bisex-
in spite of a
required alterations that could have
ual,
transgendered,
strong belief in
been expensive. Congregation Beth
Christian, Jewish, Bud-
God, I gave up
Shalom, being newer, was deemed by
dhist, Quaker, agnostic,
reli-
on organized
the fire marshal as having an easier
disabled and God only
gion
in
my
teens.
chance of getting quick approval, which
knows what else.
About
age
10,
I
did come after a long six weeks that
Soulforce work serves
knew
I
was
"dif-
In Lynchburg, Va., Gary Rimer is at le with his
appeared endless. Any further delays
two
purposes: trans-
ferent."
By
age
hand in the air; wearing the kippa. At right is Rev.
might have jeopardized our school;
forming society and
14,
I
understood
Jerry Falwell.
and, therefore, we decided to pursue
GARY RIMAR
personal spiritual
how. In those
Beth Shalom for state approval.
renewal. It is amazing to
Special to
days, you didn't
ing the prayer "perfect," he asked me
We are grateful to all who have
what
degree that was true for me. As a
the Jewish News
tell
anyone
you
to share it, and told me I was a "bless-
helped keep our school going: our par-
delegate, I took a Shir Tikvah
were gay until
ing to Soulforce." During our morn-
ents, our board and all the good people
machzor, prayerbook, (we design and
you were financially self-supporting.
of the Cheder Lubavitch and congrega-
ing workshop, I read the English,
print our own) and my piano kippa.
About my mid-20s, I decided I need-
chanted the Hebrew, and cemented
tions B'nai David, Beth Shalom and
Rabbi Arnie brought the kippa back
ed to be honest and needed religion to
my role as Soulforce's honorary
Shaarey Zedek. Thank you all for help-
for me from Israel because I play the
enhance my spirituality.
ing fellow Jews and aiding in the educa-
rabbi."
piano for Shir Tikvah on special occa-
Knowing that Reform Judaism was
Having been trained in the princi-
tion of our children. I regret any misin-
sions. I had no idea how much those
more accepting, I found Congregation
ples
of Soulforce, we were ready to
terpretation of the facts.
two items would positively impact my
Shir
Tikvah
in
Troy
with
Rabbi
Arnie
meet
with Jerry Falwell's people. Fal-
Rabbi Chaim Bergstein
personal spiritual renewal.
Sleutelberg.
That
is
akin
to
scoring
well
acknowledged
that he had used
Farmington Hills
Arriving early in Lynchburg, I
300 your first time bowling. With
lies and slander to oppose gay people,
helped set up for the Friday night ser-
hundreds of families, it's not a gay
apologized and has said he won't do it
vice. While doing so, I noticed a slide
congregation, but it is certainly wel-
anymore. While that remains to be
with the words heenay mahtov
coming. I study, learn and have found
seen, it is a great start.
("behold how good it is for us to gath-
a perspective on Judaism that helps
During our training, Rev. White
er in unity"). I also got to play piano
me be a better person. My life may
had
suggested that we meet someone
with one of the musicians. Since I
not be what some consider to be what
there, ask to go to church with them
I read with interest and concern your
wasn't singing along with him, it did-
God wants for me, but I do the best I
the next morning, then take them to
article about the anti-Semitic Internet
n't bother me that I was playing to a
can with what I have.
lunch. It's hard to hate "those people"
attack on Bradley Gonik ("Internet
tune calling gay people to Jesus. I
Having felt the call to social action,
once you know one of them. I ended
Attack," Dec. 3).
know I worship HaShem and am not
I have found purpose in educating
up meeting a Liberty University stu-
The Anti-Defamation League's and
spooked by people who don't.
about the untruths said about gay
dent that doesn't attend Falwell's
the story's warnings advising children
That evening, I met Philip Deitch
people. If what many people wrongly
church. We went to his church, where
to stay away from chat rooms certain-
of St. Louis, one of the other Jews
believe about gays were true, I'd hate
everyone was quite nice.
ly were appropriate, but they neglect-
there. Each wearing a kippa, people
them, too. By teaching the truth,
During the Bible study (before ser-
ed to mention a more important
introduced us. Philip was substituting
much of the hatred drops away.
vices),
someone didn't understand a
warning: Parents should control com-
for a rabbi that decided not to come
Through this work, I met the Rev.
particular
passage. After getting per-
puter Internet access.
and say Kaddish at our memorial ser-
Mel White and learned of his Soul-
mission
from
the leader, I explained it
Children should not have unlimit-
vice for 100 victims of hate crimes.
(www.soulforce.org ).
force
mission
and
the
person
understood. The
ed access to the Internet. AOL, for
With Rev. White's blessing, we both
Soulforce is based on the principles of
leader
then
said.
"Well, it's obvious
example, enables parents to block
got up and explained why it was okay
non-violent transformation of society
you
paid
attention
in Sunday school."
access according to age level. When
to spend Shabbat in a church. rather
used by Mohandas Karamchand
Of course, it helped that we were in
that is done, children are not able to
than in a synagogue (we were doing
Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King.
Deuteronomy.
chat with strangers. Parents should
work that was saving lives). After that,
Abhorring violence, I was willing to
As you might expect, some people
contact their service provider for
I taught the group to sing hee nay
do what I could to help.
gently
tried to persuade me that I
guidelines.
mah tov, in a round, just like we do at
Rev. White's first mission was to
could
go
straight. Some others gently
There are numerous ways to screen
Shir Tikvah. Sharing the beauty of my
send a 200-person delegation (out of
tried
to
persuade
me that I could go
out violent content, inappropriate
Judaism made me many friends that
Baptist.
More
important,
many of
material and the like. "Cookies"
night.
them
learned
that
both
Jews
and gays
should never be accepted by children.
Looking through the machzor the
Gary Rimar of Shelby Township is a
are just like themselves in many ways.
Should children need to access
next morning, thinking about the ser-
freelance corporate trainer with a career
Of course, I learned the same about
adult-level Web sites for homework or
vices I was missing at home, Shalom
goal of diversity training. He is begin-
fundamentalist Christians. If we can
research, parents should supervise.
ning a Detroit chapter of Soulforce. Call
Aleichem stood out. Reading the Eng-
all learn to respect our differences, we
lish, seeing "angels of peace," it
Pamela Goldberg Danzig him at (810) 323-7273 or e-mail
can certainly all get along. ❑
clicked. Rev. White agreed. Proclaim-
Farmington Hills soulforcedetroit@mail.com

C C

Parental Control
Of Computers

12/10
1999

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