The BiG Story

wet)," he says. "Seeing them
reminds our children of all their
passed classes at school."
The holiday celebration itself is
"incredibly filled with family, rela-
tives, friends. At night, we sleep in
the sukka. We push the tables to
the side and sleep on sleeping
bags on the grass in the back yard
— I remember we used to do this
at JTS and it was freezing. My chil-
dren adore this, and for me it's
unbelievably wonderful to see my
kids, who usually like their own
space and want their own rooms,
all too happy to sleep together
under the stars," he says.
Discussions about holiday tradi-
tions, and God, abound in the
Gordis sukka. This year, the family
concentrated on the ushpizin, the
special "guests" (the Jewish forefa-
thers) one traditionally invites to the
sukka. "We talked about what we
might say to them, and asked our
children, 'If you could invite some-
one new, who would it be?'"
On the way to synagogue, Rabbi
Gordis and his family found them-
selves surrounded by a beautiful
tapestry of color. "People were
walking throughout our neighbor-
hood, hundreds of people, each
carrying a lulav and an etrog.
That's such a physical beauty," he
says.
Just like the well-trained musician,
the well-trained Jewish parent will
need to learn and practice.
Rabbi Gordis says it's a vital

effort.
The first step is understanding the
inherent value in Judaism itself.
"When we look into our respec-
tive Jewish traditions, we should
ask, 'If the Jews disappeared,
would the world be different?' The
answer is 'yes, without a doubt.'
The Jews have brought to the world
a message of justice and equality
as seen in the eyes of God, and an
understanding of keeping God's
presence in day-to-day actions."
This is not his own inspiration for

living a Jewish life, he said.
"I don't raise my kids as Jews
because I'm worried that Judaism
might disappear," he says. "And I
don't think people are spending
$10,000 a year on Jewish educa-
tion for that reason.
"The reason people do this is
because they find something in Jew-
ish tradition so nurturing, so com-
pelling, it gives their lives meaning
they wouldn't want their kids to live

without.
"I don't do anything [Jewish]
because I worry, 'I hope my chil-
dren marry someone Jewish,'" he
adds. "Of course, I want my chil-
dren to marry Jews. But that's
because I want them to see
Judaism as wonderful, exciting
and fun-filled, so much a part of
who we are that they'll marry
other Jews because they can't
imagine spending their lives with
someone who also can't live with-

out it."
And this, the rabbi said, is what
practicing Judaism is really all
about. "It creates a way of . living
that brings the important issues to
the very fore," he said. "It focuses

Rabbi Daniel Gordis serves
with the Jerusalem Fellows Pro-
gram, an intensive, two-year
training program for senior Jew-
ish educators. Originally from
the United States, he lives in
Israel with his wife and three
children.

Rabbi Daniel Gordis will speak
at the Jewish Book Fair 8 p.m.
hursday, Nov. 11, at the D.
Dan & Betty Kahn Building of
the Jewish Community Center in
West Bloomfield, co-sponsored
by Child Development Center
of the iCC, Congregation
Shaarey Zedek, Congregation
Shaarey Zedek Sisterhood and
Jewish Family Service.

Tales Of
Three Women

How we are formed,
influenced and loved
by our mothers
and grandmothers.

Elizabeth Applebaum
AppleTree Editor

or many years, Hope Edelman
believed hair color was the
greatest distinction between
her and her grandmother:
"She had red hair; I had brown,"
she writes. "She was
short; I was tall. She
drove slowly; I loved
speed ... It's amusing to
me now that I once con-
sidered hair color to be
a significant difference
between us, as if the
essence of a person
were so visible or simply
defined."
THE INTRICATE BOND
Today, Edelman under-
BETWEEN GENERATIONS
stands that the complex
relationship between
grandmothers and
grandchildren has little
to do with physical fea-
tures and everything to
do with the heart. Her
811.,111011 OF Al ()THE It x t $ D A vourEns
new book Mother of My
Mother: The Intricate
Bond Between Genera-
tions (Dial Press,
$23.95) examines the
ties that bind daughter to mother,
mother to grandmother, and grand-
daughter to grandmother.
She begins her book by describ-
ing a grandmother whose home

F

HOPE
EDELMAN

10/29
1999

Detroit Jewish News

121