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A HEALTHY & HAPPY NEW YEAR.
FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT THE

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ON MONDAY, SEPT. 20
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OUR
11 a.m. to 7 p.m.
11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
(248) 539-3278
(248) 288-0882

HAPPY & HEALTHY NEW YEAR
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26 Detroit Jewish News

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that said: 'We deliver 24 hours a day.'
"A comic friend wears a button that
says: 'I give to the IRS.' John Travolta
once joked: 'Sex with love is the most
beautiful thing there is. Sex without
love ain't bad either.'
"A girl I know came up with this
one about her stockbroker: 'If it
weren't for his money, he wouldn't
have any personality at all.'
Her sister says, 'Love is more
important than money, and I intend
to wait until the right millionaire
comes along.'
"She remarked that she wears her
low-cut gowns to. parties so she can
`show them a thing or two.'
"Another friend says: A really
promiscuous girl is one you can have a
good time with even if you play your
cards wrong.' Chevy Chase complains:
`My doctor told my wife and me that
we should enjoy sex every night. Now
)))
we'll never see each other.
Joey continues ... "If you really
want to lose weight, keep your mouth
and your refrigerator shut. Eat only
when you're really hungry — but try
not to exceed 13 or 14 meals a day.
"One guy told me: 'My wife's latest
kick is dieting. She's doing great — she's
down to a size 12 sneaker. Her doctor
told her to cut out those intimate little
dinners for two — unless she's got
someone with her.' Here's the best diet
tip to remember: What you see on the
table must wind up on the chair.
"This whole exercise bit to lose
weight has got me down — I get
winded when I lick a stamp. As Erma
Bombeck said, 'The only reason I
would take up jogging is so I could
hear heavy breathing again.' I get my
daily exercise and fresh air by opening
the window of my car.
"I asked my friends: 'How does
anyone know when they're ready to go
on a diet?' One said: 'When he's so fat
he could sell shade.' Another added:
`If you need a bicycle built for two,
and you're only one.' A third said: 'If
you get a hangover just by sitting
down in a chair.' My wife Cindy
explained: 'When they ask you to
model for cello cases.'
"When Joan Rivers was on a special
diet, she bragged: "I lost two pounds
last week — but I admit I cheated a
little. Just before I got on the scale I
shaved my head.' A comedian pal told
me: 'Even marriages change. Ten years
ago I put my wife on a pedestal.
Yesterday I put her on a diet.'
"The hardest kind of diet pill to
take is the one who keeps telling you
how to do it. It took a lot of willpower,
but I finally gave up trying to diet."