Jewish inmates at the
State Prison of Southern
Michigan in Jackson will
celebrate the new year
with apples and honey

`Don't lend money to friends — it
causes amnesia.' Sign at a barbershop
promises: 'Your haircut free if I talk
first.' I read this one at an electrical
transformer station: 'Touching over-
head wires will result in instant death.
Violators will be prosecuted.' A
church bulletin board reads:
`Interested in going to heaven? Apply
here for flight training.'
"A pawnshop advertises: 'Please
come to see us at your earliest incon-
venience.' I saw this sign in a phone
booth: 'Save money on obscene phone
calls — reverse the charges.' In a bar:
`Please don't drink on an empty wal-
let.' In a restaurant window: Its tough
to pay $20 for a steak, but it's a lot
tougher when you pay $2.'
"A bumper sticker says: `Watch my
rear end, not hers.' A sign in a swanky
women's store calls attention to 'see-
through blouses for the girl who has
everything.' Another poster says:
`Whoever said money can't buy happi-
ness didn't know where to shop.'
"There's graffiti all over town: 'A
good girl is good, but a bad girl is bet-
ter.' 'Foreign affairs are great — if you
don't give your right name.' 'A fool
and his money are the first things a
girl looks for.'
And a neighborhood laundromat
displays this sign: 'Ladies, leave your
clothes here — and spend the after-
noon having a good time.'
"There's nothing like a good one-
liner. It's instant comedy, so you can
get your laughs in fast. For example,
consider this sign found outside a
travel agency: 'Do us a favor and go
away.'
"Or how about this rib-tickler in
the window of a ladies' shoe store:
`French heels, ideal for street walking.'
"Here's one that was located in the
window of a vacant shop: 'We undersold
everybody.' An obstetrician posted one

Little Daddy's Parthenon
Management S Staff
Give Best Wishes For a Healthy,
Joyous and Peaceful
New Year

May You Be Inscribed
In The Book of Lif

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Southfield, MI
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Detroit Jewish News

IL