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WAREII011S

Spanning
The Generations

W

hen Rena Meyers first
began taking religious
school classes to tour Ira
Kaufman Chapel, a lot of
parents wouldn't sign the permission slip.
"Now, they ask if they can bring their
children who aren't even in the class,"
Meyers said.
A big part of this change in attitude
was brought about by the insightful
work of David Techner, a funeral direc-
tor at the Southfield chapel. Techner has
made it his mission to talk with children
and their families about the realities of
death and to explain the Jewish rituals
involved in the funeral process.
"From the time of death to the time
of burial, if there's somethina b we do that
is so traumatic, so terrible, then we
shouldn't be doing it," Techner said. "If
it's done correctly, the process increases
our connection with God, our connec-
J
tion with the family."
His is among the grief-counseling
work that has been translated to the
\ _ medium of film with the Sue Marx
/
Films production, Generation to
Generation: Jewish Families Talk
About Death.
The film had its Detroit-area pre-
miere in May at Congregation Shaarey
Zedek. It also was the inaugural event of
the Jewish Community Center of
Metropolitan Detroit's first Jewish Film
Festival in June.
/
During the next two weeks, a shorter
version will be shown on public televi-
sion stations throughout the United
States. In Detroit, WTVS (Channel 56)
will broadcast the film at 10 p.m.
Wednesday, Sept. 8.
Meyers, who teaches at the Beth
Achim Religious School at Adat Shalom
S ynagogue, was in the audience this
summer when the film was shown at the
24th annual Conference on Alternatives
in Jewish Education (CAJE) in
Columbus, Ohio.
It was an early screening — 8 a.m.
-- but nor too early for several dozen
educators from around the country,
who clustered around Techner after

the presentation to express their
enthusiasm for the film.
Generation to Generation was writ-
ten, directed and produced by
Academy Award-winning director Sue
Marx of Royal Oak as well as DuPont
winner Char DeWolf and Emmy win-
ner Allyson Fink Rockwell. It was pro-
duced in cooperation with the Jewish
Federation of Metropolitan Detroit
and United Jewish Foundation of
Metropolitan Detroit and the
Educational Forum for Jewish
Philanthropy. Various individuals
and foundations provided funding.
For purchase information, call
Behrman House Publishing Co., at
(8 0 0) 221-2755. The address is 235
Watchung Ave., West Orange, N.J.
07052.
In addition to Techner, the film
includes the insights of Shaarey Zedek
Rabbi Irwin Groner and grief therapist
Rozanne Friedman. Enriching the
story are scenes of a funeral, burial
and friends visiting the family and
participating in evening prayers.
But most affecting are the voices of
the children, ages 9-11, as they talk
about the death and burial of their
loved ones. "It may cause tears; it may
cause anxiety," one child said. "But it
also answers questions."
Another child explained that
funerals are "sort of like respecting
people's lives. It's not a place to be
scared or sad."
Children need to feel empowered
when a family deals with death,
Techner said, that their voice counts
for something.
If children are at school when a rel-
ative or friend is close to death, par-
ents should ask how they want to be
told, Techner said. "I've never had one
to say, `I'll wait until 4.'"
Whenever he is involved in a funer-
al of a parent or grandparent, Techner
insists that the rabbi mention the
name of every child in the family.
"We tape every eulogy," he said.
"Then, even if the child is very young,
when they are older, they can hear the
tape and know that they are impor-
tant, and that they were loved."

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9/3
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Detroit Jewish News

45