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Torah Portioh

All Or Nothing
Is Not The Best Rule

undergoing change and transforma-
tion, endeavoring to respond to theL\
circumstances of our time. All are
engaged in some form of accommo-
dation and response in order to pre-
serve and renew that which is dearly
cherished. Yet we criticize and scold
each other for trying to work out
hat may we expect out
meaningful patterns for ourselves.
of life? Can we ever
Some say, "Either observe everything
hope to achieve all of
or nothing has been achieved."
our hearts' desires?
Life doesn't generally permit us
And if we don't, are we defeated?
the choice of all or nothing. This
What are the reasonable expectations
either/or attitude doesn't function in
for satisfaction in human existence?
the area of business or pro-
Our appetites are insa-
fessions or creative achieve-
tiable and our wants are
ments or human relation-
boundless; yet the resources
ships.
to satisfy those desires are
The vast majority of us are
limited. Many of us are not
concerned for the survival,
satisfied with less than per-
of the Jewish people. We L\
fection. Much distress is
preserve loyalties expressed
caused when we don't know
by some participation in
when or how to compro-
Jewish life even though
mise with the compelling
many of us fall short of the
nature of our wants. If we
maximum. A message of
RABBI IRWIN
cannot reach the top, the
encouragement comes
GRONER
fruits of other achievements
from the Talmud, "He who
Special to 'the
seem barren. We sometimes
begins in the performance
Jewish News
forget that life, like politics,
of a good deed, we tell hir
is the art of the possible.
to continue." A person wil \ l
When we set high and
learn how to advance, but
impossible standards for others and
the beginning is of crucial impor-
ourselves, unpleasant consequences
tance.
inevitably ensue. Consider the par-
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel
ent who drives his child relentlessly,
once said, "The level of Jewish living
mercilessly, to succeed beyond the
must never be stationary ... There is
child's capacity; or the spouse who is
no standstill in the life of the spirit
rigid and demanding and cannot
... We either ascend or go down."
accommodate the shortcomings of
The question is not whether we ful-`
his/her marriage partner; or the
fill every responsibility, every mitz-
business executive who rules in a
vah that the tradition contains. But
dictatorial manner and leaves no
rather, are we moving however slow-
allowance for human error.
ly to greater reverence and under-
All these people (and more) can-
standing, to greater participation in
not eat the "half-a-loaf" of happi-
the world of faith? Are we prepared
ness. They tolerate no deviation
to at least be receptive to the words
from the highest demands of excel-
and insights of a hallowed tradition?
lence. It's all or nothing, rule or
As the sages say, it is not incumbent
ruin. We feel that we and everyone
upon us to complete the work, but
else must be perfect, or the things
we are obliged to advance it. 1-1
we do and the persons we're
involved with lose their value. Who
can calculate the misery of broken
friendships, ruined marriages and
family discord engendered by this
Give some examples from bibli-
compulsion to set expectations
cal history of the Jewish people
beyond the human capacity to attain
falling short of the mark and
them?
being either punished or forgiven
Examples of this theme are many,
by God. How are we making
but I would like to focus on the
attempts today to preserve our
condition of Jewish existence today.
tradition? In what ways can you
All denominations of Jewish life are
be more understanding of those
who do not always succeed
Irwin Groner is senior rabbi of
(including yourself)?

Shabbat Matot-Massei:
Numbers 30:2-36•13;
Jeremiah 2:4-28, 3:4.

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Congregation Shaarey Zedek. This arti-
cle originally appeared in July 1993.