The BiG Story

major in legal assisting, to
become a certified and degreed
paralegal.
When semester is in session,
here's how the average day goes:
Chuck is out of the house by 5
a.m. so he can be home between
4:30-5 p.m., when Tracie heads
for school.
Changed into play clothes,
Chuck's evening duties begin with
iving his children the dinner Tracie
prepared earlier in the day. He
reads the children stories, some-
times takes them to the park, pre-
pares evening snacks, tames the
average chaos any three small chil-
dren could create, bathes the chil-
dren and successfully puts them all
to sleep.
Exhausted yet?
Chuck even does the dishes and
throws in a few loads of laundry.
"Besides mowing the lawn and
taking out the garbage, we are
complete equals when it comes to
household chores and raising our
three children," Tracie says.
"Whether you are a mom or Mr.
om, raising kids is the hardest,
yet most rewarding, job there is. It
is the only job around with no cof-
fee breaks," she says.
Depending on the semester, Tra-
cie's classes may meet just two
nights a week. Yet homework, term
papers and sitting as a student rep-
resentative on legal advisory coun-
cils takes her away additional
evenings.
"I am so grateful that my husband
can bend his schedule and arrange
his work accordingly to meet my
needs," she says. "Chuck is an
incredible hands-on dad. He is so
supportive of my every goal. He
realizes that when I walk out the
door, this is not a time to play. I am
working."
A break for this devoted dad?
When Trade's semesters are not in
session, Chuck takes an evening
each week to golf and relax with
the guys. ❑

)etroit Jewish News

D

iapers, nap time,
snack and quiet time
are just a few things
Nathaniel Warshay of Oak
Park juggles into his three-
day-a-week job as a stay-at-
home dad.
For four years, Nathaniel
and wife, Ida, have shared a
split schedule of office time
and home life, so that one of
them is there at all times to
share in the joy of raising
their children, Madeleine, 4,
and David, 1.
Ida goes to the office Mon-
day, Wednesday and Thurs-
day, while Nathaniel stays
home to care for the children.
The roles reverse on Tuesday
and Friday, when \athaniel
heads to his office and Ida
stays home.
Ida, a development repre-
sentative for adult clinical ser-
vices at the Detroit Medical
Center, and Nathaniel, direc-
tor of resource development
at Travelers Aid Society, say their
lives couldn't be more complete.
"I don't consider it baby sitting,"
Nathaniel says. "It is wonderful to
be a part of my children's lives. As I
am with them all day, I know how
to change diapers and respond to

Nathaniel Warshay is the only
male over 5 at playgroup. He says
mom Ida is the expert when it
comes to hair.

their everyday needs.
"At times, it feels like I am not
doing either job as well as I could.
In order to get everything done and
meet the demands of my job, I
work via my home computer during
the kids' nap time and from 10
p.m. and 2 a.m. After the kids go

A Few Tips...

• Work with your employer to explore paternity leave and part-time
options
• Plan as much as you can during pregnancy
• Work as a team
• Be willing to accept the other parent's way of doing things
Realize that society has changed. Many agree that raising a child
is not only a mother's job — in fact, fathers may do most of the care.
Stay-at-home dads can find out more information by contacting:
At-Home Dad newsletter, 61 Brightwood Ave., North Andover, MA
01845, www.athomedad.com
Dad-To-Dad Network, (612) 423-3705, or send a self-addressed,
stamped envelope to 13925 Duluth Court, Apple Valley, MN 55124.

to sleep around 8 p.m., Ida and I
have a few hours to be together;
we rent movies, talk or clean."
"It is the best feeling knowing that
when I walk out the door to go to
work my children are with their
daddy," Ida says. "Of course, I
miss them, but I know that they are
absolutely safe. And besides, I
don't have to pay him."
When Mommy is not home,
Madeleine and David understand
that things go Daddy's way. It's , his
way of going down for nap, for
brushing teeth, and even Daddy's
way for doing Madeleine's hair.
"I haven't mastered the French
j
braid like Ida," Nathaniel says witlf\
a laugh. "So I will do her hair in
three braids instead. One to left,
one to right, and one center. Some-
times I even braid those three
together. Ida makes fun of me when
she gets home, but Madeleine
loves it. Hey, I did not have sisters
growing up, so I am learning girl
hair care on Madeleine."
Thursday morning playgroup falls
into Nathaniel's role. He is the only
male older than 5 present.
"In some ways, it makes it easier,"
he confides. "The girls (mothers)
have adopted me in a way. They
know I am not helpless, but c'mon,
I'm still a man, they tell me. Or I
think of it this way: When someone
cries out, 'Mommy,' I know I do not
have to turn around." ❑