Join us for the

That's The Way
The Paper Pulls

A

front so that the latest "example" is on
ccording to Thoreau, we are
top. Others insist that the new item
often thrown off the track
should go to the rear to maintain
by a moth on the rails.
chronological order.
Well, that's something if.
At home, I have a
you're going to isolate your-
"reminder folder" to keep
self pondside in New
tickets for upcoming shows
England!
or
directions to art festivals.
For those of us in the whirl
The
folder has sections
of 20th century life — and I
marked with the months; I
speak as a resident dervish —
put the items in behind the
it's concern over the little
label. My wife, on the other
things that keeps us going.
hand, feels that the label is
For example, when you
at the back of the file pocket
place a new roll of paper
and so items belong in front
toweling on a holder, does it
SY MANELLO
of the label. Well, at least we
feed from the front or the
Editor ial Assistant know to put such items in a
back? I feel that having the
folder; that's a start!
pieces detach in front is
For all you dedicated readers, just
much easier and more esthetically
add this column to the pile you've
pleasing (I really must get out more).
accumulated;
they're all so good it
I'm annoyed by those whO refill
won't
matter
what
order you re-read
paper towel dispensers with the folds
them
in.
I
facing up so that it's a fight to get a
towel. (No wonder folks write nasty
things on bathroom walls!)
I experience ongoing battles about
files. It is my contention that when fil-
ing, one places the most recent in the

Quotables

Yiddish Limericks

by Martha Jo Fleischmann

There once was a fella named
Ian
Who said, "Ma, it's good to be
seeid
You looking so well
And feeling just swell."
But his mom said, "Pooh,
pooh, umb'shreeun!"

*God forbid! It shouldn't hap-
pen! (an expression to ward of the
"evil spirit")

"If you translate the number of pot
smokers into electoral power, we're
going to be the Shas of grass."

Boaz Wachtel, a leader of the
Green Leaf Party, which was vying for
seats in the Knesset during the May elec-
tions. It wants to legalize marijuana.

-

"Eating Jewish matzot baked with
Christian blood is the quickest way to
revive one's health, and guarantees to
restore vigor to the elderly when hav-
ing relations with one's spouse."

— An article in 'Al-Watan," an
Omani newspaper reportedly backed by
the Omani sultanate, claiming that
Jews believe matza baked with
Christian blood is a primitive form of
Viagra.

Topping
The Charts

Fans of Letterman or not, everyone
seems to have a Top Ten List. These
may be annoyances orfrustrations or
observations of goings on in society.
Send your lists to Sy Manello: smanel-
lo@thejewishnews.com or fax to
(248) 354-6069. Please make sure
your list is in good taste. We reserve the
right to edit or reject items.

CONGRE6ATiON

r

so WE'VE DECIDED To HIRE"
APviTioNAL UERG y To HELP

DEVELoPouR P1R171)AlL PRO6kAMS

GREAT! I'D LOVE TO WORK
WITH Al\J i,t'SICrint-AJT RAS131 I.

Monday, June 14, 1999
7:30 p.m.
Beth Abraham Hillel Moses

5075 W Maple Rd. — West Bloomfield

Signs You Have Had Too Much
Of The '90s

from Allan Gale, West Bloomfield

1. You tried to enter your pass-
word on the microwave.
2. You now think of three espres-
sos as "getting wasted."
3. You haven't played solitaire with
a real deck of cards in years.
4. You have a list of nine phone
numbers to reach your family of
three.
5. Your daughter sells Girl Scout
cookies via her Web site.
6. You chat several times a day
with a stranger from South Africa,
but you haven't spoken to your
next-door neighbor yet this year.
7. Your son just bought a CD of
all the records your old college
roommate used to play.
8. Your grandmother e-mails
requests for a jpeg file of your new-
born so she can make a screen saver.
9. You pull into your driveway and
use your cell phone to see if any-
one is home.
10. You check your marriage
license to see if it's good into the
next century.

GRAPEJEWZ BY monde!

RAM, TOFA SPIRITUALISM IS
WHERE WS FIT, AIJI2 WE'VE BEEM
DOING SOME THINKING o n)
HOW TO 13EST MEETTHE
SP1R1TQA L NEEDS
OF OUR

30TH ANNUAL
MEETING AND
ELECTION OF
OFFICERS

With guest speaker
Gail Williamson

of Media Access, a casting
group for performers
with disabilities and
/1999 National Mother •
of the Year

Gail Williamson's personal and
professional mission is to help the
media create positive role models
for people with special needs
by recruiting and casting actors
who have disabilities. Her work
includes TV shows Life Goes On
and ER. Gail will appear with
her son, actor Blair Williamson,
who has Down Syndrome.

1999/2000 Slate of Officers
and Directors

ACTUALL Y, WE WERE THWKIKIG
MORE till Th-RWIS of AN
ASSIST-Pt kff SU PPHis -r MONK
NMMM..ir SEE SE 7-M51m)
1!J Ti✓11S CO- M-1610US
PROFESSIOM A t-

President
I. William Cohen
President-Elect H. James Zack
Vice-Presidents Stephanie Jacobson
Carol Kaczander
Eli Scherr
Secretary
Steven Schanes
Treasurer
Sandy Dembs

Nominated for an additional three-year
term (expiring 2002)

Ron Applebaum
Lisa Brown
H. John Jacob

Rosalie Rosen
Eli Scherr
Beverly Talan

Nominated for an first three-year term
(expiring 2002)

Joanne Aronovitz
Claire Fishman
Myrna Grand
Joel Kellman

Ellen Labes
Ronn Nadis
Richard Thomas

28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, MI 48034
248-352-5272 v/tty
fax 248-352-5279

Detroit Jewish News

6/11
199

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