Join us for the

British Terminology
With Israeli Footnotes

Israel for an illustration.
responded, "but I'm not going to
ost everybody has seen
Manny has friends who made aliya
accept the charges.
that hilarious Jerry
some years ago, and after a while,
After a longer pause, the operator
Seinfeld commercial for
their
niece
went
to
visit
them
for
a
declared,
"But Mr. Kauffman. It's
American Express, in
month.
Every
night
the
girl
your
daughter.
She's your own flesh
which he's having a really
phoned
home
to
England,
and
blood.
How
can you be like that?"
rough time making an
collect.
The
bills
were
It
was
at
that
moment,
Manny
English audience laugh.
mounting,
and
eventually
explained,
that
his
friend,
Mr.
Until he learns to dress and
the girl's father instructed
Kauffman, was gobsmacked. E
speak like them, at which
her to call only when she
point he kills.
had something important to
Since I'll be doing a week
say.
But the calls kept corn-
of shows in London next
ing,
every
day.
January, my British friend,
Finally,
he had enough.
Manny Curtis, has begun
As
usual,
the
phone rang in
by Martha Jo Fleischmann
tutoring me by e-mail. Last
RABBI BOB
the
evening,
and
an
Israeli
"I
feel
like a fool and with rea-
week's lesson centered on the
ALPER
operator
inquired,
"Mr.
words aullach and
Special to the
Kauffman, a Miss Kauffman
Complained an old bear known
gobsmacked.
Jewish. News
is
calling from Israel and
as Gleason.
"Gullach," Manny
would like you to pay for
"A real kuhnilemmel*
explained, refers to a minister
the
call.
Will
you accept the charges?"
I'm chopping ah dremmel,
of religion, a kind, he presumes, that
The
man
lost
his
temper.
"No,
I
will
And
wind up asleep for the sea-
is anything other than Jewish. To illus-
not."
son!"
trate, Manny told me the true story of
There was a short, stunned pause,
his friend, a gullach, who went on his
and
the operator continued, "But Mr.
* naive simpleton (idiomatic)
first trip to Israel. During a bus tour,
Kauffman.
It's your daughter."
** grabbing a nap
the man was most impressed by the
"I know it's my daughter," he
Israeli guide who was pointing out the
various sights.
At one point, the Israeli called his
passengers' attention to a distant hill,
announcing that it was upon that very
hill that once stood the inn, outside of
"Some of the warts on our body as a people of Torah glaringly contradict our
which the Good Samaritan sat.
mission. Its time we rethink our ways."
Manny's friend reminded the guide
— Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, the Novominsker Rebbe and rabbinical leader of
that the story of the Good Samaritan
Agudath
Israel of America, on the recent scandal in New York City in which a
was merely a parable. Whereupon,
Satmar
Chasidic
school allegedly defrauded the government of $6 million.
without a moment's hesitation, the
Israeli announced, "Upon that very
"You Jews treat the Palestinians like they were your pets."
hill would have stood the inn, outside
— World Bank official Joe Saba, to a sergeant in the Israel Defense Forces. Saba
of which the Good Samaritan would
subsequently
apologized for the remark and other comments that compared Israeli
have sat, had he not been a parable."
soldiers
to
Nazis.
"Gobsmacked," Manny told me,
is what happens when you just don't
"I am a public servant with no public. Because of the limited benefit I see in my
have an answer, when you're left
continued service, I concluded it is better that I cease my activities in public life."
utterly speechless. Once again, -to
— Hawkish Israeli legislator Zeev "Benny" Begin of the National Unity Party
Rabbi Bob Alper is a Vermont-based
and son of the late Likud Prime Minister Menachem Begin, in announcing his resig-
stand-up comic and author.
nation from politics.

M

Yiddish Limeri

30TH ANNUAL
MEETING AND
ELECTION OF
OFFICERS

Monday, June 14, 1999
7:30 p.m.
Beth Abraham Hillel Moses

5075 W. Maple Rd. - West Bloomfield

.

notables

GRAPLIEWZ BY Mendel

EXCUSE ME, DO 0

KNOW WHAT PAGE
WE'RE ON?
UM.,.PA6E52.

Nor oou coeRe.
oNLB PRETENDING TO BE
FOLOWIV,THE SERVICES
you-you CAP!

NO WE'RE

of Media Access, a casting
group for performers
with disabilities and
999 National Mother
of the Year

Gail Williamson's personal and
professional mission is to help the
media create positive role models
for people with special needs
by recruiting and casting actors
who have disabilities. Her work
includes IN shows Life Goes On
and ER. Gail will appear with
her son, actor Blair Williamson,
• who has Down Syndrome. .

1999/2000 Slate of Officers
and Directors

USHER! USHER!

FAKE DAVEN ER I N ROW 13!

► VS, UM, 'UST THAT
THE ETERNAL LIGHT YOU'RE
WAS IN MY EYES GOING

AND I LOST MJ
PLACE, MP, MP. • •

,
ot

With guest speaker
Gail Williamson

pot JAL

MAID'

I. William Cohen
President
President-Elect H. James Zack
Vice-Presidents Stephanie Jacobson
Carol Kaczander
Eli Scherr
Steven Schanes
Secretary
Treasurer
Sandy Dembs

Nominated for an additional three-year
term (expiring 2003)
Rosalie Rosen
Ron Applebaum
Lisa Brown
Eli Scherr
Beverly Talan
H. John Jacob

Nominated for an first three-year term
(expiring 2003)
Joanne Aronovitz
Ellen Labes
Ronn Nadis
Claire Fishman
Richard Thomas
Myrna Grand
„Joel Kellman

28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, MI 48034
248-352-5272 v/tty
fax 248-352-5279

Detroit Jewish News

5/28
1999

5

