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a
egt
says that she wrote that first book in
writer she would become. She speaks
an attempt to figure things out and
Dopenly
about
the
rivalry
and
contempt
/—
got it all wrong. . I was 28." Then she
she felt for her brother, born sickly.
thought
her family's problem was
Although her father mostly ignored
being Jewish. She has since realized
her, she relished moments with him,
that it was the "not being Jewish" that
even as she knew of his philandering.
was the problem. This time I've got
She writes of leaving home, attending
it right," she says.
Sarah Lawrence and of her own first
Her other novels include Up the
marriage — choosing a man who,
Sandbox, and Lovingkindness.
unlike her father, was a writer but
Her nonfiction titles include
L., shared her father's lack of love for his
Generation
Without Memory: A Jewish
wife — and her subsequent divorce.
Blanche died of cancer in 1962, and JOUrilty Through. Christian America; A
Season for Healing: Reflections on the
Eugene promptly remarried. In 1966,
Holocaust; and Frui t ful: My Real Life as
as Anne Richardson, Roiphe published
a Modern Mother, which
her first novel,
was nominated for the
Digging Out, thinly
1996 National Book
disguised autobio-
Award.
graphical fiction
In the Jewish commu-
about her mother's
nity, one of the pieces she
death in which she
is best known for is a
candidly described
1977 New York Times
her father. He was
essay, which also proved
irate about that and
to be a turning point in
other of her writings
her life. The piece was
and later disinherited
about
being Jewish and
Roiphe and her
having
a Christmas tree in
brother from their
her home, and it received
mother's fortune.
an unprecedented
Eugene died 15 years
/-
response, which at first
ago. The memoir,
stunned Roiphe and then
which finely captures
inspired her to learn a
an era in American
Roiphe's memoir lays bare her
great
deal about Judaism
shattering life with an anory
Jewish life, con-
and
ultimately
to become
father,
an
ineffectual
mother
cludes with another
more
closely
connected
and
a
younger
brother
who
death, that of her
with the Jewish commu-
brother from AIDS, paid dearly or his parents'
nity. "I had never heard
contracted in his lab battles, an looks at how
being Jewish affected so many
the word assimilation
work as a physician.
aspects of her amity's life.
before," she recalls.
And then she writes
Now, she describes herself
briefly of her own
as
an
"intellectual
Conservative Jew. If
family and speaks of redemption.
I could do it all over again, I would be
Some members of her extended
3,
an even more knowledgeable Jew,
family see this book as a violation of
says Roiphe, who writes thoughtful,
their privacy and of family pride.
often provocative columns for the
While she understands and accepts
New York Observer and Jerusalem
that position, she feels that truth
Report, and speaks frequently to Jewish
telling is her obligation as a writer. As
audiences. A supporter of the Israeli
she writes in the memoir, "I am a
peace movement, she says that one of
writer and burning bridges behind me
her "favorite lost causes" is the Justice
is part of the cost of the work." Not
for Jonathan Pollard committee.
that she doesn't feel guilty, sometimes.
The mother of five daughters and
She has learned to live with it.
stepdaughters, Roiphe has been con-
Roiphe offers that she has been
scious not to raise her daughters in her
exploring the same family stories and
mother's tradition. As a young mother,
themes in much of her writing. She
she
was determined to do everything
describes it as "the search for some
herself,
rarely leaving her child. "You
kind of cultural and spiritual meaning,
don't make the mistakes that your own
a description of a failed assimilation."
mother made. You make other mis-
Going back over the same material is
takes," she says. About her father, she
"both a flaw and a virtue. Each time I
says she tried very hard to understand
write it I feel a little more at peace
him and is no longer angry. "If I
with it. That's part of why you write,
could, I would have picked a different
to make some kind of order." She's
father," she says. "I hear my children
not certain what she'll write next, but
talk about their father, and I feel the
she's sure she won't touch this subject.
great love they have. I envy that."
Looking back at Digging Out, she
2
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5/28
1999
Detroit Jewish News
79