LIVING LARGE

from page 75

Soon after her Emmy win last fall,
Manheim signed a book deal for Wake
Up, Bn Fat, a story of growing up
overweight in America, which, she
admits, is no picnic.
"It is really my story of going from
victim to victor," Manheim says. Its
not the whiny lamentations of the fat
girl who never got asked to dance.
Mostly, it's a celebration of ass-kicking."
Manheim spent her early years in a
non-religious Jewish household in
Peoria, Ill., where she was a thin child.
That changed when the family moved
to Long Beach, Calif
"Perhaps as an allergic reaction to
all that proudly exposed skin, I pan-
icked and became fat, thereby avoid-
ing the mandatory requirement of
wearing a bikini in public," writes
Manheim, to begin the witty and
often self-deprecating reflections she
calls "Conversations with My Fat."
"When my fat arrived in 1972, I
had no idea that I was entering into a
long-term relationship. ... Like all dys-
functional relationships, my partner-
ship with my fat is quite complicated.
It has caused me great sorrow but also
saved me from heartbreak. It has made
me timid and given me courage. My
fat became my teacher. It taught me
not to be average, not to conform, not
to go quietly. It made me a fighter. I
had to equip myself with a vast arsenal
to defend against my fat."
A lonely teenager, Manheim found
her first acceptance in the cast of the
local renaissance fair, and after college at
UC Santa Cruz was determined to earn
a master's degree in fine arts — in act-
ing no less. Since most members of the
Manheim family, including her mother
and father, hold doctorates, they did
not take kindly to her choice of career.
"The notion of being a professional
actor was regarded as a non-sequitur
and was sure to offend their Jewish tra-
dition of success," Manheim writes.
"Although I am still the youngest one
at the seder, it is my mother who asks
each year, 'Why is my daughter differ-
ent than all other daughters?"'
While she was selected along with
28 others — out of 1,200 applicants
— to attend New York University's
Tisch School of Drama, there were
many hardships to endure, including
embarrassing discussions in front of
her classmates about her weight.
One blunt professor asked, "Now,
Camryn, I have a question for you.
What are you doing about your
body?" She recalls that a wave of
nausea engulfed her. "By the end of
the first year, I was possessed. It's all
I ever thought about. I'm too fat.

I've got to lose some weight, I'll
never get a professional acting
job if I'm that fat."
Despite the heartache and
humiliation, Manheim refused to
quit. "I never believed it had any-
thing to do with my talent. A lot
of my friends, when they don't get
a part, they question their talent. I

"It's a miracle that
I laugh every day
and walk through
life with pride
and confidence,
because our
culture is

Clockwise from top..

Debra (Debi) Frances Manheim at age 8, before an
experience in Jerusalem changed her name to Camryn.
Camryn Manheim riding her Honda CB650
on New York's Lower East Side.

Red diaper babies: Real-life lawyer Karl Manheim
(Camryn's older brother) and TV lawyer Camryn Manheim
join the Rev. Jesse Jackson in a rally against Proposition 209,
which would end affirmative action in California.

Center: Emmy Award winner Camryn Manheim:
"This is for all the fat girls."

unrelenting when it
comes to large
people."

— Camryn Manheim

always blamed it on my weight. It was
my big excuse that I had the goods and
they couldn't see past the weight. But I
felt like I didn't have any other choice
but to continue on the path to my
dream. I just knew I wouldn't be happy
doing anything else."
Last September, when Manheim
thrust her Emmy for Best Supporting
Actress over her head and declared,
"This is for all the fat girls," she knew
she could make a bold and important
statement that millions of TV viewers
would hear.

Her family was right there to cheer
her on, although there were earlier
times that her parents nagged her to
lose weight. "My parents are kvelling,
they are so happy for me," she says. "In
fact they walked up and down their
Beverly Hills Jewish neighborhood
showing off the front page of USA
Today the day after I won the Emmy."
Manheim always thought that after
she "made it," she would want revenge
on the people who caused her pain.
But that hasn't been the case.

"The more I've achieved
the more grateful I feel,
and the less I feel like shov-
ing it in people's faces and
making them pay for the
pain they caused. As I was
writing my book I learned
that all those experiences
made me who I am. So it's
hard to imagine who I'd be
without surviving those
difficult times," she says.
Her empathy for oth-
ers has made her an
activist for the disabled,
and she is working for
equal accessibility in the
acting community for all
people. In fact, Manheim
is an accomplished inter-
preter for the deaf, and
showed off that skill in an
episode of The Practice.
Manheim said she loves her job on
the David Kelley (Ally McBeal,
Chicago Hope) created TV series and is
thrilled with her recent opportunities.
"I feel like I've won the lottery. I'm
embarking on a national book tour
(no dates are planned for Detroit),
plan to do some modeling for Lane
Bryant and filmed a murder drama for
Lifetime TV." She also has a popular
Web site: www.camryn.com .
Manheim says that just 10 years ago,

C -

5/14
1999

82 Detroit Jewish News