Clements is not alarmed by changes
in the family structure. The single moth-
er of a 4-year-old son, she argues that
"change is not an attack on the family; it
is part of its evolution and survival," an
adaptation that reflects a new woman
who is economically and emotionally
empowered.
And while her book
is devoid of anger, she
caustically remarks,
"Maybe the leaders of
the future will choose to
direct more energy
toward preventing
hunger and war rather
than waste it stigmatiz-
ing every conceivable
kind of unwed mother.
Clements' curiosity
about her new comfort
level as a single
woman sent her on a
search for soul mates.
Her book is filled with
interviews, several
spanning two or three
different stages in her subjects' lives.
They candidly express disappointment
and disenchantment with married life,
but there also is satisfaction in raising
the children their marriages produced.
They describe envy from peers,
who often perceive their single lives as
glamorous and successful. Several feel
bitter that their single status makes
them designated caregivers for elderly
parents, and many feel ostracized
when they are excluded from friends'
dinner parties.
And while there are references to
loneliness and depression, single life,
they say, has its compensations: inde-
pendence, opportunities for growth
and a delicious solitude. "Beyond
loneliness there's the possibility of a
rich interior life," notes Clements.
What she wonders is
why single women as a
body have not become
more political, assum-
ing the role of
activists. She exhorts
women to change the
stereotypes: "the desic-
cated spinster; the silly
widow; the bitter
witch; the sacrificing,
suffering mother; the
grotesque coquette,
etc., and, together, cre-
ate a political force,
one that can address
inequality in earnings
and economic and
social problems of the
elderly.
She feels single women, seeing how
much they have in common, could
forge a new constituency.
Above all, what Clements hopes to
do is provide comfort in singlehood.
She recognizes it as uncharted territory
but relishes its exploration. "When it
comes to love, sex and status," she
concludes, "nothing's ever all said or
all done." But single women like
Clements are successfully improvising,
discovering "a vastness of potential"
for personal enrichment.
seem inclined to avail themselves of fer-
tility technology for motherhood.
"Jewish women who have earned their
independence feel they have also earned
the right to have a child," she suggests,
and observes that they embark upon this
journey with verve and humor.
She alludes to one Jewish subject
who requested "the tallest Jewish
sperm donor you can find."
Clements, who married a Quaker
classmate during her college years,
retained his name following their
divorce; her maiden name was
Kleinwecksler. Four years ago, she
adopted Luc Leon.
She acknowledges there is still
some bias against single-parent adop-
dons. But in her book she questions
whether it is better to have a child in
foster care or in an institution when
the option of living with "a generous,
caring woman who offers a wonderful
home and a wonderful future and
wants to be his mom" exists.
Having a child has made Clements
more aware of her own heritage. "Luc
thinks he is a French Jew," she says of
her bilingual child, and last summer he
attended a Jewish day camp. She laughs
that when it comes to Luc, she is consid-
erably more frantic than she used to be.
"As someone said, 'Motherhood is
worrying.'" Judaism also is influencing
her writing. She included a Jewish
character in a new novel because "I
wanted a Jewish voice."
Clements is euphoric that response
to her book has been mostly positive.
She is convinced a new identity has
emerged for single women, which is
beyond feminism: "The feminist para-
digm had to do with the two-person
relationship; everything outside of that
frame was a free-for-all."
She prefers the concept of a new
single-woman comfort zone, one in
which she has found she is not alone.
,,
— Edith Broida
Mother's
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Sunday, May 9th
1 pm to 10 pm
Join us for a special
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Call (313) 832-1616
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THE GALLERY RESTAURANT
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Enjoy gracious dining amid a beautiful
atmosphere of casual elegance
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1999
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