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A Lesson In

New video offers parents and children a Jewish understanding of death.

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Rachel Roof 16, a sophomore at Littleton High,
Rhianna Cheek, 15, a sophomore at Douglas County High,
and Mandi Annivel, 16, a sophomore at Heritage High, during a
community vigil at Civic Center Park in Denver on April 21.

KERI GUTEN COHEN
Special to the Jewish News

s the nation struggles to
understand the loss of 15 lives
at Columbine High School in
Littleton, Colo., local parents
find they must again work to explain
death and to comfort fearful children.
"I didn't know one of the people
killed in Littleton, but I feel a sense of
sadness, loss and bewilderment," says
David Techner, funeral director at Ira
Kaufman Chapel in Southfield.
"Parents need to understand that
kids don't have to know someone to
be affected by death," he says.

4/30
1999

6 Detroit Jewish News

"Don't think kids aren't thinking of
this subject that affects them on a
daily basis. You only have to look at
the TV at 6 p.m. to see Littleton and
Kosovo. Talk to your kids, let them
know what you're thinking and see
what they're thinking, too."
That message of open communica-
tion goes straight to the heart of
Generation to Generation: Jewish Families
Talk About Death, a 35-minute video
Techner produced with a local team. His
partners were Sue Marx, who won an
Oscar in 1988 for her documentary
Young at Heart, and writer Char DeWolf
and producer Allyson Fink Rockwell,
both Emmy Award winners.

The video already has drawn praise
from the funeral home industry, both
Jewish and secular, and PBS plans to
broadcast a shorter version on selected
affiliates this fall. Techner's video cap-
tures the feelings and emotions of chil-
dren ages 9 to 11, all of whom have lost
loved ones — a father, a baby sister, an
aunt, a grandparent, a mentor. Rather
than being excluded and "protected," as
is the tendency, these children were
included every step of the way, from the
memorial service to the cemetery to the
shim (period of mourning).
Their comments and insights in the
video clearly show that learning to
embrace death as a,natural part of life

played a tremendous role in their heal-
ing process. The openness shown
between parent and child also promot-
ed closeness in the family and provid-
ed an excellent opportunity for Jewish
learning.
"Judaism celebrates life in a beauti-
ful way, and our religion places such Ci
emphasis on remembering,"
Techner says. "It's brilliant stuff
What can't we share with a child?"
The film makes sense of several Jewish
traditions, such as the shomer, who
guards the body all night and reads
psalms; the shroud, which is a com-
mon denominator for all; the need to
reaffirm one's faith by reciting the