The Zamir Chorale of Metropolitan Detroit Presents

Elijah's Violin

A musical rendering of
"Elijah's Violin", A Jewish folktale
reflecting the spirit of the Jewish
people

Based on the adaptation by Howard Schwartz

Featuring the debut of the Zamir Youth Chorale

Benjamin Cohen, Musical Director

Sunday May

2 nd ,

Regina Papiyants,Accompanist

1999 4:00 PM

D. Dan and Betty Kahn Jewish Community Center Room 332

Admission Free

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GIVE MOM THE BEST
MOTHER'S DAY OF ALL!
MAY9,1999
NIBBLES & NUTS

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INTERNATIONAL NEWS PLUS

372 Oullette Avenue
Windsor, Canada

4/30
1999

106 Detroit Jewish News

them until you've got something in
your hand you want to put in them.
"Fearing someone else with a great
eye for Brussels sprouts might steal
them away from us if we set them
down even for just a moment, we
hang onto them with one hand and
tear a bag with the other.
"The inventor suspected this might
happen so he took steps to see we
were punished by insuring that the
<
perforations are made so that unless
just the right technique is used, we'll
not only have 15 feet of bags gather-
ing at our feet, but every opportunis-
tic produce shopper scurrying after
our perfect Brussels sprouts scattered
about the floor.
"Then there's 'wonder fresh' pack-
aging. It's a wonder they'll ever stay
fresh once they're opened. For exam- c/
ple: raisins. You just cut open the flap,
take out what you need and lock out
the air by closing the 'airtight' flap."
Cereal boxes, graham crackers and
even those little meat packages in the
deli section, are examples of 'wonder
fresh' packaging.
"Among the items I'm not sure I've
figured out how to open yet are evap-
orated milk cans. At least they look <
like cans, except they don't have edges
to grasp with an opener. Then there
are the orange juice cans with card-
board sides and metal rims — the
ones you have to open with a can
opener. On a good day, I made it
one-quarter of the way around the
top before stripping the gear on the
opener. Most days I've got to make 12'
separate punctures. Meanwhile, the
juice concentrate is staining my white
Formica countertop.
"And how about a one-pound box
of cornstarch? Have you ever opened
one without tearing the entire lid off?
"Opening sardines and canned meats
are a couple of adventures. If you're
lucky enough to have a key, it's just the
beginning. With every turn, every inch
of the sharp, twisted metal menacingly
eyes your tender fingers, waiting for you
to slip — just once. Even if you survive
a broken turnkey, you still have to face
the dreaded plier pull.
"If I were to improve the situation,
I'd wax the insides of egg cartons to
make it easier to extract the cracked
eggs that adhere so well to regular cars
tons. I'd change the thin, metal serrat-
ed cutter on the foil wrap to heavy- ,
gauge cardboard teeth. They do that
on the large institutional rolls. Why
not give you the same advantage?
"We've got to do something, other-
wise we'll go bananas. I mean crazy
— oh, fudge!"
Li
•