DON'T GO AROUND asking for
tickets when they're all gone to see
Hall of Famers Ted Williams and Joe
Namath (among a slew of others) ... at
the banquet after this year's Hank
Greenberg Memorial Golf & Tennis
Invitational, June 14 at Tam O'Shanter
Country Club ... Get on the phone
now to Elayne Wolfson, Michigan
Jewish Sports Hall of Fame assistant
executive director ... (248) 788-0921
... and holler for those ducats ... before
they're all gone ... which should be
long before the event.
KORN KORNER ... from
Seymour Kapetansky ... "Why did the
Orthodox girl jilt her boyfriend after
he had open heart surgery? Because
her parents said his new heart valve,
derived from a pig, made him treife."
PETER LOREN, fine corporate
chef for the Epoch restaurants
(Tribute, Forte, Too Chez and
Latitude, opening around June in the
Bay Harbor Marina), says ...
"Now and then, we cooks (and
when I say 'we' I mean anyone who
holds a spatula either as a profession
or obsession) feel the pressures of
everyday cooking a bit too much to
bear and begin to think of 'Home on
the Range' not as a song but a way of
life.
"It's then we realize the pressure
cooker isn't in the cupboard over the
sink. It's us.
"The symptoms are easy to see.
The cook begins to deteriorate when
he starts to use food terms to relate to
the world. He isn't even aware of it.
As far as he's concerned, everything is
`peachy.' To him, cooking's a 'bowl'
— er, ball.
"Soon things begin to get pretty
dicey and the first time he gets into a
jam, he goes to jelly. He begins to get
heated up even though he's coddled.
From there things go from butter to
wurst.
"Realizing that his existence in the
kitchen is mundane, he begins to sim-
mer, then stew and finally boil. Still,
day after day he cooks. By anyone's
measure, you'd think he'd be quite
tender. Unfortunately, he's only half-
baked.
"A major contributor to this mala-
dy? Frustration! And a leading cause
of kitchen frustration? Inept product
packaging. It can drive a cook nuts!
"Here's an example: those plastic
bags on the roll in the produce sec-
tion.
"The whole idea of plastic bags on
a roll must have been invented by a
packaging expert with a genius for
comedy. You never think of using

All the Greek favorites, plus..

Lamb Chops • Porterhouse &New York St
Salmon • Whitefish • Shrimp • Oct
Veal Chops • Coneys

za

,o, ftkW.ftt:

Mon-Sat-11 am to midnight • Sunday 11 a
32832 Woodward Avenue (I block South of 14

(248) 554-8600

4/30
1999

Detroit Jewish News

105