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pain that Boteach says stemmed from
Rabbi Boteach says that he has
confusion over sex.
become the "de facto rabbi to many
')
The runner-up in Britain's recent
gays and says that some of the tough-
Preacher of the Year contest, Boteach
est questions he has been asked by stu-
uses his charisma and wit to advocate
dents are in this area.
the synthesis of great sex and great
"I do not believe that homosexuality
marriage with one
is an illness or deviance," he
simple goal always in
says. "The beauty of our religion
s
•.!
mind: He vvants to
is not an all-or-nothing sum
save marriages and
game. The Torah consists of 613
heal relationships.
mitzvot; there are 611 left for
Written in the style
gays. I'm not going to change
of a self-help book
Torah. I'm not going to ostracize
with lots of headings
people. I treat homosexuals like
and brief sections,
people who smoke on Shabbat,
the book highlights
eat a cheeseburger. No big deal."
the teachings with
Boteach has seven scholarly
examples of real cou-
books to his credit and two
ples, drawn from the
other books on relationships,
rabbi's counseling
including A Jewish Guide to
experience.
Adultery. -How to Turn Your
"The fact that the Boteach stresses that
Marriage into an Illicit Affair.
despite its sexy spin,
great religions are
Dating Secrets of the Ten
"Kosher Sex" is
totally ignoring the
Commandments will be pub-
halachically sound.
death of marriage is
lished in Britain in May and
not only an abroga-
next February by Doubleday.
tion of responsibility, it's shameful," he
Future projects include An
says. "Judaism has to emerge from its
Intelligent Person's Guide to Judaism,
complacency Fifty percent of Jews
which predicts that Judaism will
intermarry; and for the 50 percent of
become the world's "next Buddhism,"
Jews who marry other Jews, half of
with non-Jews turning to it for spiri-
their marriages end in divorce. Judaism
tual guidance; The Rabbi and the
has never had a prudish sexual ethic. It
Psychic, co-written with Uri Geller,
celebrates the commitment between
which explores spirituality vs. spiritu-
,,
man and woman.
alism; and a book on his friendship
Most married couples today are
with Cory Booker, a black American
either lovers or great friends, he says;
Christian who was a Rhodes Scholar
like fire and water, the two don't usu-
at Oxford and president of L'Chaim.
ally mix. But kosher sex can straddle
But for no Boteach's focus will con-
these two opposites and unite the best
tinue to be Kosher Sex. Interestingly, the
aspects of both. "Sex for pleasure is an
book has attracted a largely non-Jewish
end in itself But kosher sex is the fire
market in England. "The Jewish attitude
of sexual attraction that creates union
is, 'What's a rabbi going to teach me
in the bedroom and intimacy in life,"
about sex?'" Boteach explains. "Non-
the book jacket declares.
Jews come without those prejudices."
"Great sex has you screaming the
Eric Major, vice-president of reli-
deity and your mother's name during
gious publishing at Doubleday, hopes
the act," Boteach says. "Kosher sex has
the book will succeed in the U.S. in
you remembering your lover's name
both markets. "Our audience is anyone
after the act. Great sex is undertaken
who feels that what is missing from
by two separate bodies, kosher sex by
contemporary relationships is the idea
two halves of the same soul."
of intimacy. This is not a sex manual.
Boteach stresses that despite its sexy
It is about how people feel toward each
spin, Kosher Sex is halachically sound.
other," says Major. Boteach, currently
It advocates taharat ha-mishpachah,
on an eight-city tour — which does
the two-week period during and after
not include Detroit — made an
menstruation in which sexual contact
appearance in New York with a spot
is forbidden; encourages early mar-
on NBC's "Today" show on Tuesday.
riage and argues against masturbation,
How does his wife, Debbie, feel
premarital sex and pornography; advo-
about the book? "She wishes she mar-
cates the missionary position as best,
ried a nice Jewish boy," Boteach jokes,
but sanctions sexual aids and oral sex.
then turn serious. "My wife is more
While these dos and don'ts may sound
than supportive. She is a true rock in
antiquated, Boteach says they actually
my life. She sees firsthand how
promote intimacy
throuah my books and counselina b I'm
When asked about homosexuality –
able to save marriages. Then I feel like
which isn't covered in the book —
I didn't suffer in vain." LJ

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