Mazel Toy!

Ma n

Sam Kau an made a decision,
and taught his father a lesson.

Sam Kaufman will be bar mitzvah tomorrow.

LISA BARSON
Special to The Jewish News

/- -`

hat father wouldn't feel
nachas when his young
son tells him he wants to
go to Hebrew school?
What father wouldn't feel his heart
swell with pride when his son wants
his dad to join him for High Holiday
services? What father would try to
dissuade his child from becoming a
bar mitzvah?
The answer to all of the above
questions is Richard Kaufman.
Kaufman, an attorney and former
Wayne County Circuit Court judge,
grew up in a Reform Jewish house-
hold. He enjoys the cultural features
of Judaism, but the religious aspect
never held any fascination for him.
After his bar mitzvah at Temple Israel,
Kaufman dropped out of Hebrew
school, never to return.
Or so he thought. He married
Elaine Lenart, a non-practicing
Catholic, and together they had two

sons, Sean and Sam. The boys were
exposed to both religions, but neither
had any formal religious education.
One fateful day, Kaufman received
a flyer in the mail from a new temple,
Bet Chaverim, that was just forming
in their hometown of Plymouth. As a
joke, Kaufman asked his sons, then 9
and 13, if they were interested in
going to Hebrew school.
He received the expected "no way"
answer from Sean, 13, but was dumb-
founded when nine-year-old Sam's
eyes lit up and he excitedly answered
"yes!" Kaufman repeated the question,
thinking his son misunderstood, but
again, Sam reiterated that he wanted
to go to Sunday school.
Thus began a journey for both
father and son.
Kaufman thought his son would
quickly lose interest, so he called the
temple and asked if Sam could sit in
on a few classes. Once he began, how-
ever, Sam was hooked, forcing his
father to join the temple so that Sam
could continue. Kaufman jokes that

Sam is the "only kid in America who
goes to Sunday school against his par-
ents' wishes."
After two years of education, Sam
insisted his father join him for High
Holiday services. When Kaufman
declined the invitation, Sam sat his
father down and explained to him
how important it was, and how he
wanted his father to be at least neu-
tral, if not supportive of him. After
all, Sam reasoned, "there must be
more to life than just trees and earth."
This scolding from his then 10-
year-old son caused Kaufman to ques-
tion his own spirituality and why he
was opposed to his son's education.
Kaufman admits he teased his son,
but once he saw how truly dedicated
Sam was, he agreed to support and
encourage him.
Fast forward another two years, and
12-year-old Sam is starting to discuss
his bar mitzvah. On Saturday, March
20, Sam will be only the third person
to become a bar mitzvah at Temple
Bet Chaverim and, his father jokes, he
will most certainly be the first bar
mitzvah that the Summit Banquet
Hall in Canton has ever seen. The
Methodist church that the temple
rents for the High Holidays and other
occasions is too small to accommodate
the expected 240 guests.
For his bar mitzvah, Sam will lead
the entire service, both in English
and Hebrew, and give the sermon on
the Torah portion of the week.
Rabbi Peter Gluck of Ann Arbor will
officiate.
The Kaufman family will all have
roles in the service. Sam's parents,
brother, and grandparents will each
have an aliyah during the service.

The challenges will continue for
the Kaufmans after the bar mitzvah.
Sam and the 28 other students at
Bet Chaverim must figure out how
and where to continue religious
education. The fledgling temple has
no plan in place once the bar mitz-
vah piny is over.
Sam has already devoted a school
project to the subject: he created an
Internet site on Israel, which has
received more than 400 visitors
(geocities.com/televisioncity/set/80
21) and he plans to attend a Jewish
camp this summer. The question
still remains where Sam will contin-
ue his formal Jewish education.
All of this has been quite a learn-
ing experience for the entire family.
Sam's mother remains supportive of
her son, as do Sam's' grandparents.
They reason that this is Sam's
choice, and spending time at
Hebrew school is certainly better
than many things he could have
done.
As for Sam, he says he still finds
Judaism "inspiring for me spiritual-
ly," and is looking into ways to
enhance and continue his religious
education.
And even his dad is coming
around. While Richard might not
share his son's religious devotion, he
certainly respects his decision, and
takes great pride in the fact that
Sam made the decision on his own.
Richard Kaufman explains that
after 22 years of being an attorney,
and 15 years on the bench as a
judge, he learned that life is fuller if
you don't take pride in being cyni-
cal. The lesson came courtesy of his
13-year-old son. E.

•

3/19

1999

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