EdItoR's NoTe iffA 06Arl'HERWOOD C The Heatherwood Takes you There. A Whole Family Our driver... at your service! I was at Discovery Zone the other day, not exactly the place you'd expect to feel overwhelmed by a gentle moment. Children screaming and laughing, all those games with ringing bells and basketballs smack- ing, the incessant calling of every food order, first with "It's another great day here at Discovery Zone!" I had my three children with me, plus a friend of Adina's. I like to actually get in the tubes and chase the chil- dren, yet as they get older mine prefer to be with their friends more and more. Talya, though, at 2, still needs me close. So I sat with her in the multicolored pool of plastic balls as she jumped from a blue cushion into the balls, then laughed, then climbed up on the cushion again and jumped off, then laughed, and on and on for a good 20 times. As I sat watching Talya, a boy of about 15 came near. He was car- rying another boy, about 10. His brother. The older child placed the younger into the balls, and the boy went crawling about. His head was shaved, and I could see that he had had several operations that required cutting into his skull. I could see, too, that his legs did not work. I passed him in a wheelchair. , My initial reaction, as always at such moments, is to cry. And so I left for a moment, sitting on a nearby bench as Talya continued jumping. I was interested, though, to see the way the boy's family interacted. The older boy played with his dis- abled brother, first in the plastic balls, then at one of the slides. Another brother also helped out. The mother — a tall, attractive woman with silver-rimmed glass — wheeled her son over to the games, bought him popcorn, lifted him on a ride. It is a wonder to watch love with- The Heatherwood gets you there. Through rain or snow our courtesy van gets you where you need to go. Leave your worries behind and leave the driving to us! At Heatherwood, we offer a warm, wonderful atmosphere, and provide all the services our residents need to remain as ' active in the community as they wish. Southfield's Most distinguished etirement Community Offers: I • Lunch available (7 days per week) - something the others don't offer • Evening meal provided (7 days per week) • On site staffing 24 hours a day • Emergency pull cord in each apartment • Local transportation for errands & appointments • Full size apartment with kitchen • Weekly housekeeping & linen service • Personal care assistance available through on-site health care staff One & Two Bedroom Apartments Now Available! For information, call Kathy Ostrowski: (248) 350-1777 22800 Civic Center Drive • Southfield, Nil OUTDOOR ADVENTURES Call Now for a Free Brochure 1-800-767-0227 Advertise in our Arts & Entertainment Section! Call The Sales Department 3/12 1999 JNArts & Entertainment 78 Detroit Jewish News (248) 354.7123 Ext. 209 DBYROIT JIM= NEWS 'TN ■ out end. But, of course, that's what a family is. I liked, and admired, the way this family worked together. One member needed help, and everyone was there for him. Not that they hovered over the boy, but I could see that they made him feel included, not a burden. Perhaps this is the best lesson that being part of a family teaches: how to function as a whole. Indi- vidual wishes and needs still exist and deserve attention. But suddenly, in becoming a family, what is best for all becomes the priority — not what is best for one. I love rituals that reinforce this wholeness. In our fami- ly, this means family dinners every night, and outings like our trips to feed the ducks at a nearby pond. As a family member, you give up a great deal of what once seemed crucial when you were alone: the right to go wherever you want whenever you want to; the right to spend your money however you choose. Yet it can be lonely, too, being alone; you can feel empty and incomplete. In becoming part of a family, sud- denly so much becomes clear — and in giving and working together, each individual also becomes whole. ❑ Elizabeth Applebaum AppleTree Editor Elizabeth Applebaum welcomes your comments at (248) 354-6060, ext. 308 (voice mail) or via e-mail: philap- ple@earthlink.net. We would love to consider for publication your observa- tions on parenting and childhood. Please send to: Guest Column, c/o The AppleTree, 27676 Franklin Road, Southfield, MI 48034.