r

DEAN

from page 28

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Throughout his adult life, Soby was
\_ revered by social workers and lay lead-
ers alike for contributing to the Jewish
community and the political commu-
nity in an even-handed, thoughtful
way. His years in Detroit were impres-
sive in terms of philanthropy and
development of the Jewish community.
In an article in the Detroit Free
Press, he said fund-raising "isn't just
raising money. It's planning and work-
• ing. It's getting dedicated people to
work with you, people with compas-
sion and a sense of humanity, people
with patience and devotion to a
cause.
We have memories of him saying,
"Let's form a committee: to plan, to
solve, to get things done." His com-
mitment to planning and working
• , showed us that he was willing to let
projects develop over time — he start-
ed his illustrious career in Jewish com-
munal service as a towel boy in Balti-
more at the Jewish settlement house.
For us, the lessons are: work, take
action, form committees (i.e.,
problem-solve and brainstorm with
your community); don't worry and see
what develops. Our grandmother
• Edith was a social worker, too; and
together, they knew when to let rela-
tionships flourish and grow in a long-
term way. Soby had friendships, for
instance, that lasted 65 and 85 years.
By taking action, not worrying and
living without regret, our grandfather
built his life path and foundation, not
only for himself but for all of us who
were part of his family, friendships,
and community.
Soby told us that the secret to a
long life is knowing when it was
worth getting angry. He was always
generous. He didn't believe in worry-
ing about the small things, and he
would always give the benefit of the
doubt. When faced with a problem,
he would repeat his mother's words:
Vas hois pressin (It will press itself out).
He was born in 1899, and we all
talked about the prospect of his living
in parts of three centuries. That he
did live so long was a huge gift to us.
We find solace in thinking that his
death on Thanksgiving at 99 was his
way of saying, Its your turn now; go
ahead and create some knew traditions
and revive some old ones.
"Join this family to the community
and lead them into the next century."
We hope to take the memories he
wove into the fabric of who we are
and let him live on in the best parts of
ourselves. We are thankful that there's
still so much to learn from him. Pl

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"There is no more room at our table"
"I am not getting involved"
"I'll get back to you"
"I am too old"
"Thanks for thinking of us-call next year"

We are tired of hearing excuses. What we need to see is people who will volunteer
to take a family (who can't afford and don't know how to have their own seder)
in for Passover. Bring your extended family to your home this year! We have
1,500 families to host. To find out how you can celebrate in this mitzvah, call
Andy or Libby Beider at (248) 851-0925.

Detroit Jewish News

2/19
1999

31

