A new class at Temple Israel teaches engaged couples

and young marrieds about the three C's.

LISA BARSON
Special to The Jewish News

t's a Tuesday night in West
Bloomfield, and 10 couples
are learning that there's
more to marriage than find-
ing a mate and selecting the per-
fect honeymoon destination.
Communication, compromise
and conflict resolution are obvious
subjects engaged or married cou-
ples must face, but the 10 couples
are discovering these skills can be
learned.
Temple Israel offers this educa-
tional opportunity. The five-ses-
sion, 90-minute, free workshops
are called What Every Couple
Should Know Before and After
Saying 7 Do, and focuses on help-
ing couples learn better methods of
communication and ways to grow
from "I" into "we."
The workshop is the brain-child
of Kari Provizer, director of the
Temple Israel Family Life Center,
the temple clergy, and two congre-
gants, licensed psychotherapists
Bari Berkowitz and Mona Shane.
They recognized that there was a
need for a class that helps new cou-
ples understand the various issues
that come once a couple is engaged
or newly married.
While the free workshop is lirn-

Left: Maly Robin
and Steven Beale
check the handouts.

Below: "Couples
101" at Temple
Israel.

iced to 10 couples, it is
open to the community.
A new subject is
addressed each week, with
topics including essential
skills for the couples' com-
munication, blending reli-
gious backgrounds, divi-
sion of home/work responsibilities,
and resolving conflicts. Because the
workshop is purposely kept small,
it allows for more interaction and
gives every couple an opportunity
to contribute to the discussion.
Facilitators Berkowitz and Shane
introduce a different topic each
week, and the participants delve into

how it relates to their own situation.
There are many issues facing
new couples. Finances, work, home
responsibilities, children, in-laws, or
whose family to spend the holidays
with, all contribute to the stress of
married life. The workshop hopes
to help couples learn to facilitate
communication skills, learn conflict
resolution, fair fighting, empathy,

and teach how to compromise and
communicate while continuing to
nurture the relationship.
The topic of blending religious
backgrounds is always a sensitive
issue. The blend is most commonly
thought of as two different reli-
gions, but Shane and Berkowitz
point out that a blended family can
also include one person who comes
from an Orthodox or Conservative
background, the other from a
Reform or Humanist background.
Michelle Cohen, 30, met fiance
Jeff Gilbert, 35, at the health club.
While the couple immediately
found a lot in common, the one
thing they didn't share was a corn-
mon religion.
"I wasn't prepared to stop prac-
ticing Judaism because of Jeff.
Instead, I wanted to share it with
him. He is incredibly open-minded
about everything, but sometimes
questions come up. Since we enjoy
taking classes together, we thought
that taking a class like this would
really help us learn how to deal
with different situations." The
couple will be married in
November, and Cohen and Gilbert
want to take every step possible to
enjoy the year and the "wonderful
celebrations that will take place."
Steven Beale, 26, admits with a
shy smile that his mother suggested

—„.

2/19
1999

Detroit Jewish News

93

