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The Work Schedule
Of A Jewish Organization

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Eastern Orthodox Christmas, which
o: All Associates, Northeast
occurs in early January, out of love
Regional Office, American
and affection for our dedicated book-
Friends of Israel
keeper, Juliana Golligopolous.
RollerDerby, Inc.
7. The Office will remain
From: Dr. Harriet Feinberg-
open during the month of
Fineberg, Executive Director.
Ramadan. However, in
Subject: Holiday closings.
anticipation of the possibili-
Below is a revised listing
ty of adding Muslim staff,
of office closings, to replace
the Office will close at 3
Document #273 in your
p.m. each day of Ramadan,
Procedures Manual.
to sensitize current staff and
1. The Office will be
enable any future Muslim
closed on all major Jewish
employees to arrive at their
holidays, all minor Jewish
homes in a timely fashion
holidays, and all really-really
and enjoy an early conclu-
minor Jewish holidays.
sion to the daily fast.
RABBI
2. The Office will close at
8. In abiding admiration for
BOB ALPER
2 p.m. on days preceding all
the world-class athletes who
Special to
major Jewish holidays, all
are in the process of bring-
The Jewish News ing RollerDerby to Israel,
minor Jewish holidays, and
all really-really minor Jewish
the Office will be closed on
holidays. In the event that a major,
the holidays of Higan-e, Divali,
minor, or really-really minor Jewish
Kwanza, Laylat ul-Qadr, and the
holiday falls on a Sunday or Monday,
birthdays of Guru Nanaki, Bandu'llah,
the Office will close at 1 p.m. on the
and Buddha.
preceding Friday.
Thank you for your cooperation
3. The Office will remain closed dur-
and understanding. As it says in the
ing the intermediate days of Passover,
Talmud (Pirkei Avot, 2:20) "The day
unless the Executive Director is able to
is short." [1
prevail upon our current vendor to
remove the Twinkies from the snack
machine for the duration of that week.
4. The Office will be closed on all
national holidays except Halloween.
However, on the afternoon preceding
by Martha Jo Fleischmann
Halloween, the Office will close at
A wildebeest once known as Sid,
3:30 p.m. to enable employees to
Polite in whatever he did,
return to their homes and prepare.
Somewhere in the herd
5. The Office will be closed on
Could be overheard,
Sundays and on all other Christian holi-
"So landsman,* gnu, vuss macht
days, as well as "Easter Monday,"
a yid?"**
"Christmas Monday," and any other
Mondays following a weekend festival,
*fellow countryman; compatriot
out of respect for our gentile office staff.
gnu=nu=so?
6. The Office will be closed on the
"What's up, fellow Jew?"
Rabbi Bob Alper is a stand-up comic
and author.

T

Yiddish Limericks

Ilowz By You

Topping
The Charts

Fans of Letterman or not, everyone
seems to have a Top Ten List. These may
be annoyances or frustrations or observa-
tions of goings on in society. Send your
lists to Sy Manello:
smanello@thejewishnews.corn or fax
to (248) 354-6069. Please make sure
your list is in good taste. We reserve the
right to edit or reject items.

Here is a list of the 10 shortest books
ever. They came to us via the internet
from Judge Stephen Cooper.

1. The Engineer's Guide To Fashion

2. The Difference Between Reality
and Dilbert

LOOK/MG PoR SomEDM6 To
OFFICIAT E AT 11-16- 146PDJA)

.50 WE'VE HIRED Pt CAST/11G
DIRECTOR AND WE'RE 140I.DING
AUDMOMS AT 3130 TOPA
CAM JOU MAKE IT?

JARC
Merle and Shirley Harris
Children and
Family Division

Services for children
with any disability and
their families.

Based on the belief that
every Jewish person
should be able to participate
in mainstream Jewish life,
regardless of disability.

3. Things I Would Not Do For
Money by Dennis Rodman

4. How to Sustain a Musical
Career by Art Garfunkel

5. Everything Men Know About
Women

6. Everything Women Know About
Men

7. Mike Tyson's Guide To Dating
Etiquette

8. Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA

SERVICES AVAILABLE

• Outreach to newly
identified families

• Family-to-family liaison

9. Staple Your Way To Success

• In-home respite care
with trained JARC staff

10. Proper Office Behavior by Bill

• Advocacy: mental health
services, government
benefits, schools
(especially IEPC process)

Clinton

BY Mendel

RABI31, MJ NIECE 591-VI A, is
GETTI/ ■ 16 MARRIED AND WE'RE

ALL
CHILDREN
ARE
SPECIAL.
JARC IS HERE
WHEN YOU
FACE A
CHALLENGE.

• Informational workshops

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NAVE A ROCK'N ROLL. THEME SO
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(416 AND SON6I,ASS“ NH ► 1,6".

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• Family social programs

• Individualized life
planning

• Community consultation
and education

• Newsletter

SE NN

For more information call

248-352-5272

28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, Ml 48034

Visit our websile of www.jarc.org .

Detroit Jewish News

2/12
199°

5

