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(248) 263-6300
DETROIT • PITTSBURGH • WASHINGTON D.C.. CLEVELAND • INDIANAPOLIS
waaam. Ma.*
- War
If you are not wearing it...
sell it!...
or BORROW on it!
,AtitWO
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You can't enjoy jewelry if it's sitting in your safe
deposit box. Sell or borrow on it for immediate
cash. We deal in jewelry, watches & gemstones.
A Service to Private
Owners , Banks & Estates
amond Specialist
Gem/Di
AWARDED CERTIFICATE BY GIA
IN GRADING & EVALUATION
30400 Telegraph Rd. • Suite 134
Bingham Farms 248-642-5575
JB:
Fine Jewelers
Est. 1919
Lawrence M. Allan, President
Daily 'Til 5:30
Sat. 'Til 3
ASTER
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HEATING
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RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL. SERVICE • SALES • INSTALLATIONS .
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YOUR INDEPENDENT DEALER FOR
Michael Levey
irrrpAww.ct.oLNiccomfAiRmAsTER
2/5
1999
LENNOX &
BERKLEY W. BLOOMFIELD
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les Hard 7b Stop A 7h1ne.
N. OAKLAND
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GROSSE POINTE
882-4870
S
ometime ago I
wrote a column
about witnessing a
grandfather speak
unbearably harshly to his
granddaughter.
Many of you wrote with
comments about what to
do in such circumstances. Someone
also suggested I offer ideas (rather
than just complaining) for parents
who find themselves in stressful situa-
tions with their young children. That's
what this column is about.
If I'm unusually irritable, I apolo-
gize. My children, like all children,
are always forgiving — in part
because they understand that even
parents are not perfect all the time
(though they would like them to be),
but most of all it's because children
love their parents extraordinarily.
But the best bet, even before
apologizing, is to:
#1) Anticipate and Prevent Trou-
ble.
I have found that the time my chil-
dren are most likely to be impossi-
ble is when they are bored. You
simply cannot expect children to sit
patiently and quietly, with nothing to
do, for any amount of time. They
don't function like that. It isn't fair.
The other day, for example, I
dragged my two youngest (age 5
years and age 21 months) to get
the oil changed in our car. It's a lit-
tle place on Nine Mile with just a
few chairs inside a tiny building, a
few old magazines and a vast
paved lot outside. I anticipated a
20-minute wait.
I brought along my Fun Bag filled
with a blank pad of paper and
crayons, stickers, a finger puppet,
books and, yes, the ultimate answer
to any dreadful situation: candy.
The items proved amusing for
C-̀ ,7CD1
about 20 minutes, even
30. But then I noticed my
children were starting to
get cranky. Understand-
ably, they were bored. I
was, too.
And that brings us to
Plan B in the Anticipate
and Prevent Trouble category. Now
it's time to use your imagination.
Here are a few ideas I had during
the wonderful oil-change experience:
A) We went exploring. We
found: a car wash next door, sever-
al pennies, rocks we could use to
draw on the pavement. B) Ask your
child questions about his favorite
subject: himself. My children love
this game: "If you had to eat mush-
rooms, onions or eggplant, which
would it be?" or "Which would be
.the most fun: staying up as late as
you wanted, eating candy all day,
or being able to boss your parents
around for a whole hour?"
Sometimes, though, your imagina-
tion is shot and you're sick of the
Fun Bag and you think you're going
to start screaming. This is time to:
#2) Separate Yourself From The
Situation
Caring for children is hard work.
A construction worker out in 90-
degree heat who didn't stop for
water when he got thirsty would be
an idiot, wouldn't he? Similarly,
when I'm thirsty for a break from my
children I go out for half an hour
while my husband cares for them,
or I ask my little ones to watch -V
for 30 minutes so I can sit down —
in another room.
Consider working out an
exchange with a friend whereby
she'll care for your children for an
hour each day, then you'll take hers
for the same.
But suppose no one is around
and the television is broken? Then:
N