t:M1
k
:41 E

Life's Ups And Downs,
From An Elevator Rider

\/--)

back of a cat and dropped it?
EC ow often have you
• Have you ever imagined a world
observed, "Well, that's
without
hypothetical situations?
life!"? If there is too much
If nothing ever sticks to Teflon,
•
, time to think (and who
how do they make Teflon
can lay claim to too much
stick to the pan?
time on his hands?), one may
• If you have your finger
begin to ponder some of the
touching the rear view mir-
many imponderables of life
ror that says, "Objects in the
— at which point, someone
mirror are closer than they
may urge, "Get a life!" Here
appear," how can that be
then are some ponderings
possible?
I've come across:
• Why is it called a building
• Why is it that when you
when it is already built?
are driving and looking for
• Why is there an expiration
an address, you turn down
SY MAN ELLO
date on sour cream?
the radio?
Editorial Assistant
• If you keep trying to prove
• Why don't sheep shrink
Murphy's Law, will some-
when it rains?
thing keep going wrong?
• Most packages say,
Why did kamikaze pilots wear
•
"Open here" — what is the protocol if
helmets?
the package says, "Open somewhere
• Why doesn't onomatopoeia
else"?
sound like what it is?
• If buttered toast always lands butter
• Why do tugboats push their
side down on the floor and a cat always
barges?
lands on its feet, what would happen if
• If 75 percent of all accidents hap-
you tied a piece of buttered toast to the

pen within five miles of home, why
not move 10 miles away?
• Why do we sing "Take me out to
the ballgame" when we are already
there?
The next time you feel bogged
down with all the weighty problems of
the world on your mind, try some
"pondering;" it sure beats the depres-
sion that may come with the other
"stuff"

Phraseology

Richard Strausz of Southfield writes the ways you can

tell that the person next to you has not been at Shabbat
services too often:
1. "Hey, my book is backwards."
2. "Isn't it impolite to talk when the minister is talking?"
3. "What's with the beanies?"
4. "Isn't it funny that one person on the stage has a bet-

Ilowz By You

JARC
Merle and Shirley Harris
Children and
Family Division

Services for children
with any disability and
their families.
Based on the belief that every
Jewish person should be able to
participate in mainstream Jewish
life, regardless of disability.

(A little taste of Yiddish.)

Oif mist morgen zol Got zorgen.
Let God worry about tomorrow.

And hopefully, he'll also take
care of the day after tomorrow.

UPCOMING EVENT

Topping The Charts

Fans of Letterman or not, everyone seems to have a Top
Ten List. These may be annoyances or frustrations or obser-
vations of the goings on in today's society. Send your lists to
Sy Manello: smanello@thejewisbnews.com or fax to
(248) 354-6069. Please make sure your list is in good taste.
We reserve the right to edit or reject items.

ALL CHILDREN
ARE SPECIAL.
JARC IS HERE
WHEN YOU
FACE A
CHALLENGE.

Thursday, February 11, 7p.m.

ter singing voice than the other ones."
5. "I get the standing and the sitting; when do we
kneel?"
6. "Does your prayer book have writing in a funny look-
ing alphabet, too?"
7. "Why do people keep coming in even after the service
begins? Didn't they know what time it starts?"
8. "Do a bunch of people always get up and walk out
just before the rabbi gives the sermon?"
9. "This food after the services is really good, but would-
n't it be better if people waited in line and then only
took a little at a time?"
10. "Hey, I remember this part from Fiddler on the

Roof"

William Shaw, PhD will present
a seminar on interventions for
children with autism, ADD, PDD.

7:00 p.m. No charge.
Shaarey Zedek Applebaum Jewish
Parenting Center — West Bloomfield
Sponsored by JARC's Keshet Program
Daniel Sobel Friendship Circle
Applebaum Jewish Parenting Center

SERVICES
CURRENTLY AVAILABLE

• Outreach to newly
identified families

• Family-to-family liaison

• In-home respite care with
trained JARC staff

BY

Mendel

HI, WE'RE WITH 1.F.5.0.
PREFERADL9
"SEWS FOR A
A 8.16 ONE!
BETTER WORLD.
See?
WOULD g00 LIKE TO

MAKE A COMTR11131010N? HERE'S
OUR FLYER!

JEWS FOR A BETTER WORLD?
HOW EXACTLY PO 800 PLAN
Okl MAKING THE WORLD

BETTER?

139 It. AI SIM 6 RW5 !

LOTS AND 1.0T5 AM) FUERS!
LJE'Re 601/06
OF FUNDS !
TO RUNT TOMS

OF FIAGI? S

rn)

R-1)

• Advocacy: mental health
services, government
benefits, schools (especially
IEPC process)

• Informational workshops

• Family social programs

• Individualized life planning

• Community consultation
and education

• Newsletter

To RSVP or for more information
call 248-352-5272

H

Alt

28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, Ml 48034

Visit our website at www.jarc.org .

Detroit Jewish News

2/5
1999

5

